What Did You Say You Said? Getting Understood Involves More Than Words

George Bernard Shaw said that “The biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has been achieved.” If communication is not your strong suit, here are 8 tips to improve it.

It’s funny, but that we speak the same language is not a guarantee that we will understand each other. It happens very often that what I want to say, what you think I want to say and what in the end I said or said, has an abyss of difference.

And it is that speaking and explaining yourself correctly and that others understand it is not as simple a matter as opening your mouth. Here you have me, for example, with a bricklayer (construction worker), to whom I tell over and over again that I want the sink to be straight, not tilted forward or backward, and this man wants to forcefully, for such purpose, break the tile, because it says that this is what prevents you from achieving the desired position.

So at the risk of throwing the money away for breaking the damn sink, I put it under the tiles, and so-so, voila, it was right!

“Oh, then I’ll put it down,” he says.

-Yes! -I tell him.

Issue resolved, we already managed to understand each other.

But it is not always that easy, because sometimes, when trying to explain, we become more entangled, and this is because this communication is not reduced to mere words. Without a doubt, this article will interest you: The importance of good communication in the couple

Now, if you find yourself in a similar situation, in which you have tried everything and you do not know how to make yourself understood, I want to share a few notes that may be useful to you in this regard, or, at least, that has worked for me. me:

1. Explain with examples

Sometimes what happens is that people cannot get an idea of ​​what you are saying, so if you recreate it with situations you may be able to overcome that barrier.

2. Don’t make it personal

What I mean is that you don’t make the other person feel like a “fool,” but just give your opinion about the situation they’re talking about.

3. Don’t use disqualifiers

Nothing more counterproductive when wanting to communicate than to disqualify our interlocutor. Not only will you not achieve your goal, but you run the risk that more than an exchange of ideas, it may even be blows. Allow people to finish talking. Interrupting does not help, because you eliminate the possibility of understanding what the other person wants to say, and therefore your answers will be based on what you think he meant, and not what he actually said.

4. Please don’t go around a thousand times to explain your point

Too much information is confusing and, at times, exasperating and boring. As Gracián said: “The good, if brief, twice as good.”

5. Try not to mix several topics in the same discussion

If so, in the end they will not know how, or why it all started, nor will they come to any determination.

6. Watch your body language

Keep in mind that sometimes we say one thing with our mouth and quite another with our body, and body language is also essential for good communication. In that sense, you cannot stop reading this article: 4 things you do every day without realizing it, and they weaken your marriage

7. Listen to what the other has to say

It may happen that the one who needs to be convinced is you, or at least, the one who refuses to listen. Open your senses and show readiness.

8. Clarify your ideas

The best way to express ourselves is by being clear about what we want to say. It will surely help you to read: Learn the forgotten art of talking happily with your family

Speaking is not just air coming out of our lungs to vibrate our vocal cords; become aware of what comes out of your mouth, because once it is opened and what is said does not return. And, regardless of whether you are a bricklayer or whatever your trade, before you start hammering or gluing bricks, please listen well to your client.

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