I was in your shoes. Before you make a hasty or final decision, I want to share with you my experience of becoming a single mother.
You are there, alone, in the bathroom, receiving perhaps the worst news from a pregnancy test. Your heart begins to beat faster as the two lines that will change your life forever appear before your eyes: you are pregnant.
How did this happen? I took all the precautions! Because I? Because right now? What I am going to do? What are they going to say about me? How am I going to tell my family? How am I going to confront my friends, my acquaintances, my co-workers? I’m not ready to be a mother! I’m not in the relationship I would have dreamed of! I do not have the support of anyone! I’m not ready to give up on my dreams!
These and many more ideas are racing through your head. You feel groggy, nervous, furious… You feel everything except happy. The last question that comes to mind is: what am I going to do now?
My personal story
In this circumstance, any decision is crucial, and before you continue to torment yourself with questions and doubts, I want to share with you my experience: I was a single mother.
When I finished studying my degree in the United States, I returned to Mexico with my family. However, a friend invited me to return to the US a few years later with the intention of working together in the real estate area. Without thinking, I dropped everything to try my luck in this business that seemed so promising.
Before leaving I had started a relationship with a boy who seemed like a good fit for a husband. I did not want to miss the opportunity to get to know her better and to continue the relationship, so I invited her to come with me on this adventure, and she accepted. It wasn’t long before I realized that he didn’t have the same plans as me to build a future together.
Things got even more complicated when I soon found out I was pregnant. Yes, pregnant with someone I hardly knew, the more time passed the more I realized how unsatisfactory the relationship was. Being away from my country and away from my family, I felt trapped and very unhappy.
The easy way out
There were those who recommended that I take the fast exit: for a reasonable amount of money I could be done with “my problem” in a matter of minutes. Leaving this place, they said, I could start over: make better decisions, follow through with my plans, and best of all, no one would have to know! It seemed like the perfect plan. Today, after almost ten years, I realize that if I had listened to such advice I would have regretted terribly.
A new beginning
Despite trying everything to make the relationship work, when my daughter was one year old, the final break occurred: he returned to Mexico and my baby and I were left alone in the United States. What at that moment paralyzed me with fear was actually the best thing that could have happened to us both.
Contrary to the “uncertain future” I thought I had in front of me, it was a period of extraordinary growth and maturity. As a consequence, opportunities began to present themselves. I grew up spiritually, emotionally, and professionally. In other words, I became a better person: strong, independent, and much happier. Mainly it was a path of conversion that led me to experience a supernatural peace. My relationship with God changed forever.
Ten years later
Today my daughter is almost 9 years old. She is a model student, loves sports, and is a great advocate for life. She has been interviewed on the radio and in the newspaper about her advocacy for unborn children. In addition, she wants to be an engineer and has a great talent for singing and drawing. Thanks to her, I met my husband Daniel, who legally adopted her. She makes us both proud every day with her accomplishments and maturity! Today she has three little brothers and one more is on the way.
Relee: Help! My daughter is pregnant.
My 10 conclusions
In the hope that my experience will help you make the best decision in your particular situation, I share with you 10 truths that I learned on this path:
1. Despite the circumstances in which it has come into your life, or the mistakes you have made:
A baby is never a mistake!
2. You are about to experience the greatest love you have ever felt. But first, you are going to experience all kinds of contradictory feelings. Do not be sad! Allow yourself to feel them, unburden yourself, cry if necessary.
3. Please, do not make any hasty or final decisions during this process. Something I learned, first as a single mother and then supporting other mothers in similar situations, is that
the initial anguish of an unexpected pregnancy always disappears, always!
Soon you will see the situation in its proper dimension.
4. If your baby’s father does not want to accept responsibility, do not worry or try to convince him, he will soon realize what he has lost.
Be confident that you can get by with your baby
5. What people say will be a temporary inconvenience, in a short time it will be just a bad memory. Instead, the happiness and satisfaction of having given life to your baby will be a wonderful and permanent feeling.
6. Although at this moment it is hard to believe it, in a short time
you will begin to experience the immense joy of waiting for a new life
7. Live one day at a time
Don’t try to fix everything right now. That’s impossible. If you are well today, you have what it takes to live, do not worry about tomorrow. Everything will be solved little by little, I promise you.
8. There is a lot of help for single mothers, you will be surprised. It’s just a matter of looking for it.
9. Your skills and talents will grow exponentially as part of this process of becoming a mother. Before long, you will not be able to believe what you will be able to do and achieve.
10. Now you will have the opportunity to start again
, but with the advantage of having the best motivation in the world: your beautiful baby!
Reread: 5 things every single parent should do.
Women are much stronger than we think. Courage, everything will be fine. If you need local contacts of organizations that help women, do not hesitate to contact me. I am here to support you. And the best, God is on your side and He is never wrong.
Finally, I invite you to reread: What happens when you hide your pregnancy.