The worst violence is not that which we condemn, but that which is hidden in customs and customs, that which we see as normal.
Some time ago I read a message that went viral on social networks. It is the response of a mother to the clerk at the reception of the children’s hospital where she took her four-year-old daughter. It turns out that a boy from the same school hit the little girl so hard that she required stitches to close the wound.
And is that when he found out what had happened, the worker’s comment was that surely the boy had done it because he “liked” the girl. To which the mother replied on Twitter : «I’m sure you don’t think deeply about what he said; As soon as I heard it, I knew that this is where it begins.
He is not without reason. The idea that love and beatings go hand in hand is old. Images of cavemen beating women to make them their own, or phrases like “whoever loves you well will make you suffer”, are not alien to us. The worst thing is that we are the ones who encourage them when we make this type of behavior seem normal to the little ones; we associate them with passionate people as if love should hurt, when in reality there is nothing further from love than this.
Educating our girls with the idea that aggressions are normal and, with the boys, in the mentality that they are not to blame because they are simply responding to some provocation, is what has led to violence continuing to be part of our lives.
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Ways You May Be Fostering Violence
1. If you let them hit you, you will see them with me
It is typical for parents to threaten their male children with punishment if they allow themselves to be beaten by other children. In this way, they encourage them to be the ones who strike the first and final blow.
2. Ignore acts of violence
We encourage violence when we ignore it when introducing ourselves and, on top of that, we scold the victim for reacting emotionally, for example, crying or “doing drama.”
3. Justify violent acts
Like the case that inspired these lines, in which a beaten girl is told that she was beaten because the aggressor likes her.
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4. I hit you for your sake
Many are the parents who use this argument when they hit their children, making them believe that they hit them because they are good parents.
5. I hit you because I can
Making violence appear as a synonym for a strong, powerful person, owner of the situation, will cause children to hit to have that power.
Well educating is one of the most titanic tasks you can face. It is a constant struggle between the desire to spoil the child and do the right thing. A daily task that requires dedication, but above all perseverance because the success of a good training depends on it.
Children are like sponges, everything they hear — especially if we say it over and over again — they absorb and assume as part of their personality. For this reason we must be careful of what we tell them, because we can be educating a violent man and the worst violence is not the one we condemn, but the one that hides in the uses and customs because this is what we see as normal, we encourage it and we justify ourselves.
Finally, I invite you to watch this interesting video: What would your son do if you asked him to hit a girl?