A great challenge in our society today is being able to transmit to young people the taste and need to study. What to do when your teenager tells you that he wants to quit school?
Does your teenager want to stop studying? Quiet! It is not the end of the world, you are not a bad mother, nor have you failed in your role. So take a breath and let’s reflect a bit on some things you can do, okay?
1. Talk to your child and focus on the problem
I repeat: talk to your son. Listen calmly. Keep your mouth closed, your ears very attentive and, if necessary, take small notes. The purpose is to discover exactly what is happening with your child that leads her to make such a statement. Finding the precise and exact cause will help you fix things, so please focus on the problem. Under no circumstances do you mess with your child in the sense of questioning him, focus your attention on the circumstances that may be around his decision.
For example, if your child tells you that he is “tired of studying”, you should review his sleep and wake times, the food he eats, his school and extra curricular workload. Once you review these aspects, then make the necessary modifications. Be careful never to say something like: “You are lazy”, “You are immature”, “You do not know what you say”, “You do not know what you want”, and so on. Avoid any disqualification. Remember: focus on solving the problem, not criticizing your child. Get rid of any negative attitude or judgment towards her.
Listening with real attention and interest to their ideas will open a very valuable communication channel that will be particularly indispensable when the real challenges of life arise. High school can be an intimidating experience, so pay attention to what’s going on around you.
2. Let your child know what you expect of him
During adolescence, what many young people are looking for is to measure and even test their parents. If you’ve been a constant mother since childhood, your children will know what you expect of them, when and how. Do not lower your standards and always check that your limits are appropriate to the life span of your children. A rule for the family may be that studies are not abandoned: they can be postponed for really important reasons, but they are never abandoned. A young person should not abandon their studies or postpone them before completing secondary education, and they should know this from the time they complete primary school. The law of many countries considers it so.
3. Decide together and establish a work plan
If they have already spoken and together they have determined that it is convenient for the young person to leave school (which is very rare), a work plan and / or alternative studies should be established. A plan that includes home service, exercise, and other responsibilities. Otherwise, we could be damaging the processes of maturity and independence necessary in every human being.
Perhaps the idea of ”missing a school year” clashes with your paradigms, but let me tell you that when parents give a wise and prudent accompaniment to the young person, that apparently lost year, in many cases becomes a period of true learning and maturity. , especially for boys.
Finally, remember this: your child is the most important thing. Know their needs, their thoughts and processes. Help him to live in freedom, in independence and, above all, to take responsibility for the consequences of his actions and decisions.