Words build or destroy. Therefore, take care of the way you talk to your love.
Let’s be frank, there are aspects of your partner that no matter how much you love them, they are difficult to tolerate. It is understandable that it happens, because living together reveals what did not come to light in the courtship.
It is one thing that you do not like certain tastes and hobbies of your partner, but you can always let him know your dislike by giving an innocuous observation; but another is to attack her directly with words. The above is already a total lack of respect that breaks all limits and completely damages the relationship.
The sad thing is that this situation is reached when one of the parties chooses never to complain and limits itself to “eating whole” each event that it does not like. Thus, the result will be that the moment will come when everything explodes like a volcano; and the part that has accumulated frustration, release all your discomfort with phrases or completely harmful attitudes.
You must learn to tell your partner what you don’t like about him or her. In order for you to achieve it, here I will leave you some ideas of the best way to do it without feeling offended.
1 «You are a child»
Personally, I don’t see anything wrong with someone liking to play video games, collect dolls, comics and little else; clear that everything must have a rational measure. Therefore, if you notice that your partner is obsessed with this habit, try to find the reason for it.
Do not make the mistake of saying: “How childish you are!”, Because even if it is true, you do not want to make him feel bad if you love him, since you will be giving him to understand that he is not mature enough to be with you. ExpertsThey recommend that you speak up and let him know that although you like that “inner child” you also want to have an adult relationship with the person who lives. Of course, if his behavior is very invasive in the lives of both.
2 Shut up!
Very rude word that sometimes comes out without weighing the consequences. In short, what your partner is saying is that you pester her and do not want to hear anything you have to say and that she does not care how you feel.
Yes, it is true that sometimes the other party can exasperate you with their things, but there are softer ways to ask for space and time, but you should also know that your partner expects you to listen to them and share your time.
3 You’re making “a storm in a glass of water”
In a marriage, even the least pleasant things are shared, and that includes problems. If you fall into the temptation to reduce the situations that generate stress in your partner, you are telling him that you do not care and that he can manage as he can, or that he is doing a “drama” of nothing.
Instead, it is better that you make him feel your support, for something is that he comes to you for help. That way, what you can do is ask her about how she wants you to help her understand the situation.
4 “Leave it at that”
It is similar to saying “forget it!” You may have lost your patience trying to explain something. The fact is that when you reach that point of no return, you are canceling or silencing him; you’re basically telling him that you’re not going to waste your time with him.
5 “A real man / woman would be able to do it”
Be unable; that’s what you’re saying to your partner when you drop this bomb. Here the intention of the message is that you behave or do things as he or she wants; that is to say, annulling your way of being to force yourself to be someone else.
No human being is perfect and there are things that can or cannot be done, and that does not have to be a reason to attack whom you say you love. Recognizing your own weaknesses in yourself will make you able to put yourself in the place of your partner; When you are already aware of your failures, it will be much easier not to judge the difficulties of your partner.
6 «You provoke me»
Nobody makes someone feel a certain way; the only ones responsible for how we feel are us. That depends on the power we give others over us; Therefore, saying that your partner forced you to hit, insult or yell at him is a mistake.
We all have the ability to control ourselves. According to the psychologistKatherine Giraldo a person with the ability to control himself enjoys living consciously, making the right decisions and in addition to being responsible for your actions.
7 I, I, I
Nothing is more exasperating than a person who wants the world and the relationship to revolve around him and according to his own interests. If your partner insists that everything has to do with him or her and does not listen to you, it is a bad sign.
When living as a couple it is necessary that you be able to think for two, selfishness should not take place in a marriage. One thing you can do is make him see that he is acting selfishly ; if things continue that way seek therapeutic help.
8 “Get Over It!”
We all feel and express our feelings differently; so pretending that your partner can accept and digest things as you would, is not correct.
It is your duty as part of a couple to put yourself in the place of your spouse, to help him process whatever happens to him so that there is trust, so that both can live together without fear of being criticized or judged for his love.
9 “I don’t like you like I used to”
Love is something that over the years is transforming and strengthening. As it is, you cannot pretend to live 20 years next to someone and continue to feel butterflies in your stomach as when they began to know each other.
Maybe your love has already gained a few kilos, or that you have lost your hair and now wear glasses; but I’m sure it has other aspects that transcend the physical. Therefore, they should try to see what is not so obvious to the naked eye, and they will realize the wonderful person that you have by their side.
10 “You’re stupid”
Horrible that they tell you that. We all fail at something and are a bit slow at times to understand some things; But saying it in the middle of an altercation is a major offense that gradually destroys their love for you.
Again, discover your faults in yourself and thus judging or criticizing your partner will be something you will think twice before it occurs to you to do so.
Relating to your partner can be difficult, and avoiding hurting them can become a minefield if you’re not careful. Just think before you speak, seek help if you consider it necessary because your relationship is seriously worth gold in these times of so much loneliness.