Your little one will be happier if you know how to tell him what you want him to understand.
Each parent has a special way of raising their children, how they do it on many occasions is influenced both by the way they were raised by their parents, as well as the “parenting tendencies” that are being recommended at that time by some experts on the subject, achieving a balance between the two.
Things have not changed much, now we see how communication with children has been gaining ground and has been removing “punishments” from the corrective routine of many parents.
But it is not just about “talking” with the children about whatever is happening at the time, it is about knowing what and how to talk to them in order to achieve the desired effect and not the opposite.
The parents page in English shares 8 phrases that many parents often use to address their children that are wrong and offers the correct way to express the same idea without being counterproductive for the child.
1 »You’re fine»
Something that many parents usually do when their child suffers a small accident and they come to their aid is to tell them that “you are fine” when clearly they are not, since the child is crying in fear.
What you as a parent should do is help him understand what happened and learn to manage his emotions. So the next time your child has an accident, no matter how minor, if he cries, just pick him up, hug him, acknowledge that he has had a good scare and ask him if he wants a hug, a kiss or a healing on his wound.
2 “Practice makes perfect”
It is a phrase full of wisdom because nobody denies that it is true; However, according to Joel Fish, Ph.D., author of the book 101 Ways to Be a Terrific Sports Parent, what you do when you tell your child that phrase is to exert unnecessary pressure, because if they make a mistake or lose in a competition, the child will punish himself in the worst way believing that I do not train enough.
Instead, what you as a parent can do is encourage him to practice and improve over time so that the child will feel happy about his progress.
3 ″ Good job »
According to Jenn Berman, Psy.D. who is dedicated to parenting counseling and author of the book The A to Z Guide to Raising Happy, Confident Kids, telling your child that “he’s a good boy” or something is “well done” every time he does something right, which Favorable is that it depends on your approval and not on the motivation they should feel for doing something.
She recommends saving congratulations for special moments and instead highlighting what you liked best about your child’s participation in that specific activity.
strong, 4 ″ Hurry up! »
Every child usually takes more time than necessary in some activities and that sometimes leads to just enough time to get to a medical consultation or school; But trust me, rushing them so they don’t get distracted or they don’t arrive late is creating more stress than they require.
Instead, what you can do is say, “Let’s hurry,” letting him know that it’s not just his responsibility, but that you’re a team, according to Linda Acredolo, Ph.D., co-author of Baby Minds.
5 ″ I’m on a diet »
Something common in many mothers is weighing themselves in front of their children, the point is that when you do it, the message you send to your child is that being fat is wrong, so the child develops a wrong concept of “body image”.
Instead, pity yourself when your child is not present and if you decide to follow a diet and he asks you why, tell him that “you eat healthy because you like the way taking care of yourself makes you feel” and “that you like going out walk ‘instead of telling him to exercise.
6. »We cannot afford that»
It is usually a phrase used when the child wants you to buy something that is out of your budget. The point is that telling a child that you don’t have money is not only going to cause concern, but it also tells him that you are not in control of your capital.
What you can tell him is that “they are saving money for more important things”, and you can also use it as an excuse to explain to him about the use of money and the administration of this at home.
readComplimenting your children too much could be a detriment to their development
7 ″ Don’t talk to strangers »
Protecting children is the priority of every parent, but you have to know how to tell them the right way to avoid those who may be a real danger and accept the help of people such as police or firefighters, who, even if they do not know, can help you get home if it is lost or requires help.
What you should do is ask your child to explain what he would do if someone offers him sweets or takes him home or makes him feel uncomfortable, sad, confused or scared, and then guide him about how he should act at that moment , always pointing out that they should trust you, says Nancy McBride, executive director of the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children, Florida Regional Office, in Lake Park.
8 ″ Come help you »
It is usual to feel an urge and desire to help your child is doing something and has trouble getting it done. But according to psychologist professor Myrna Shure, Ph.D. from Drexel University, doing so undermines your little one’s independence and will cause them to seek answers from others.
Instead, guide him to solve the problem for himself and invite him to experiment with options.