The Spouse Or The Lover? The Dilemma Of Infidelity In An Insecure Person

Are you unfaithful or do you think “give your marriage a break”? This article is for you. Better think before taking that step and reflect on this situation and the collateral damage that it can cause you.

A man questioned a sage whether he should stay with his wife or his lover. The sage took two flowers in his hand – a rose and a cactus – and asked the man, “If I give you to choose a flower, which one do you choose?” The man smiled and said: “The rose, it makes sense!” And the sage replied: “Sometimes men are carried away by external beauty or worldliness, and choose what shines the most, what could be worth more; but love is not in those pleasures. I would keep the cactus, because the rose withers and dies; The cactus, on the other hand, regardless of the weather or the climate, will remain the same, green, with its thorns, and one day it will give the most beautiful flower you have ever seen. Your wife knows your flaws, your weaknesses, your mistakes, your screams, your bad times, and even then she is with you. Your lover knows your money, your luxuries, the spaces of happiness and your smile, that’s why he is with you. Now tell me, man, who will you stay with?

The situation that the previous story describes is something of all times: infidelity. Men and women have been unfaithful alike, and have left a home and a family, where the “thorns” of a love considered “old” no longer make them feel the same as before and they delight in the novelty, in the delights and the sensation of adventure that seeks a “new love”.

I have written, in previous articles, that we are possessors of the greatest domain of all time: the power of agency ; We can decide in any situation of our life, but it is not as simple and easy as it seems; reality hides something in plain sight, the consequences of our actions. For this reason, I invite you to read the following points before choosing to leave your spouse for someone who is new to you at the moment and think about what the future may hold for you.

Young people who are about to get married:

  • If your partner or fiancé is unfaithful to you before you get married, think twice before connecting your lives. I ask you the following questions: What makes you believe that you will not do it again? If he really loves you and is going to marry you, why is he unfaithful to you? Would you be willing to forgive infidelity within marriage? What is fidelity to you? If the answers do not leave you satisfied, or sure, of the decision to make, then reconsider if you really want to get married. Faithfulness has to do with three important factors: honesty, love and respect.

Married men and women:

  • If you are leaving your spouse today for the “delights” of a new love, think about whether history could repeat itself. In other words, whoever is unfaithful once could be unfaithful several times – although there is the exception that confirms the rule, it is not what happens in many cases. Why? Because the unfaithful man or woman will always be in search of “that I don’t know how exciting” that makes them feel like a new person; Someone who is unfaithful, in general, is dissatisfied and insecure, looking for “something” that he cannot find in any partner and, therefore, will not have any stability.
  • Although it is true that an unfaithful husband or wife can reflect and the affected person can forgive them, and continue “as if nothing”, there have been indelible traces of what happened and for the marriage to be solid again will take a long time and will involve a lot of patience.
  • Think that you have more “things” to lose than to win. That’s right, starting with someone who has believed in you and supported you, who loves you and trusts you. You will lose stability. If they get to divorce, the stress and financial expenses to which they will be subjected will be incalculable, the happiness of the children will always be at stake … and so I could continue listing consequences until the end of the day.
  • Don’t do something you wouldn’t want to be done to you.

Remember the day of your marriage, that wonderful day when you decided to unite your lives in mutual agreement, making vows of eternal love and fidelity. Remember how radiant your partners looked today; the beauty and happiness that their eyes reflected when they gave their trust to you, and from then on all the sacrifices they have made to carry that family forward. You, husband who is about to be unfaithful or you are unfaithful, look at your wife who has given a lot of herself to be with you; her body is no longer the same as when she had no children because of that precisely, because she chose to give you the greatest gift anyone could give you. And you, a wife tempted by new sensations, your husband made sacrifices too, perhaps she abandoned a successful career abroad and gained extra weight from eating the tasty dishes you make and lost her abs a long time ago; he sacrificed himself for you.

A marriage is synonymous with sacrifice and mutual dedication, and if you are not willing to respect those situations, or your spouse, reconsider getting married. And you, who are already married and with some years of advantageous marriage, think that your decisions now could bring you collateral damage in the future. Now I ask you the same question as the wise: “Who will they stay with?”

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