The Role Of The Father In The Lives Of His Children Is Irreplaceable

Children, to grow harmoniously, need both mom and dad: achieving this will make them grow up in a healthy balance.

A few months ago, I made a scale with my 10-year-old son. To achieve this, first, we hung from a support point two equal cords that each one should hold a small container. On the symmetry and stability of each of them, it depended that our balance worked.

The first thing we did was test with marbles and coins. My son wanted to know how many marbles would be equal to all the coins he had saved in the week. It was very interesting for us to experiment with different materials and make sure the scale remained balanced.

As a mother, on several occasions I have reflected on the value of my contribution to the home, and the value of my husband’s contribution. Yesterday, while I was curious how my husband is so important to my children, I reflected onthe value that we both have -together- to give balance and emotional support to our offspring.

Dad and mom in harmony give balance to children

This scale I was telling you about above came to mind. I thought about how important it is for each child that mom and dad are balanced in strength, participation and support, so that children level their life, their perception of the world and grow healthy in mind and body.

Finding this balance of strength and support is not easy for parents, it requires a lot of communication, generosity and a great unity, but the fruits are remarkable.  

Imagine that one of your feet is shorter or weaker than the other, how difficult it would be for us to move, move forward! I imagine that by having a glass of water, it would be difficult to reach our destination without throwing away most of the liquid.  

Now, think about the wonderful blessing that you have to have your two legs, and to move harmoniously with them. Don’t you think that parents should strive with all our hearts to give our children that same emotional support? This would be achieved with a true synergy of the roles of mom and dad. 

The father is not always given the value he has

Sometimes, due to cultural issues, the role of the father was designated by the head of the household, who from a physical or emotional distance participated in the family through the mothers. 

In my case, for example, my mother told us what she had discussed with our father, and we already knew that when it was an official indication from him, there was nothing to do. Today, however, we have allowed ourselves to rethink these roles, andmothers do not want to be the spokesmen for our husbands. We want common participation.

And in the end, it is not about what mothers want, but about the great need that children have to be looked at, cared for and encouraged by both parents.

Certainly, mothers come from the heart to give life, sleeplessness, energy and deep attention to our children, but they not only need care and tenderness, they need strength, adventure, drive and someone to drag them to do great things, and this is here where our dear husband enters.

The mother gives birth to the children, and the father stops them

I love this phrase for its strength. It means that the mother gives birth to them, fills them with love, protects and nurtures them, andthe father corresponds put them on their feet: give them security, challenge them and demand of them that they give their best.

It is incredible how sometimes the fundamental role of parents is undervalued, minimized and ignored. Mothers who get ahead on their own are exalted, telling them that they are “father and mother at the same time” when a woman, no matter how incredible, can never fully supply the wealth that a man brings to the home.  

The above statement may sound politically incorrect, but who will replace the lack of the right foot in a body? The person without that limb could put on a prosthesis, use a cane, or ride in a wheelchair, but they will have to assume that part is missing, and do their best to fill in the gap.

It is urgent to revalue the role of the father in the family

The Spanish clinical psychologist Celia Rodríguez Ruiz He says about that the father’s role is the base for social development, by the force that contributes its direction and management of authority in the home. It also states that “lThe absence of this role has serious consequences on their social, emotional and affective development”.  

For her, it is the obligation of society in general “vindicate this paternal role, just as the maternal role is acclaimed”. And for this, she suggests three ways:

1 An awareness of society

Man, as a social being, needs everyone. It is true that a mother can take care of the home alone, the financial maintenance and the care of the children, but should she? Isn’t it true that by wanting to encompass the entire universe, you end up prey to exhaustion andexhaustion, emotionally separated from the children and sometimes full of resentment?

The challenge of our society is to recognize the wealth of father and mother in equal circumstances.

2 A mobilization for equality with women

The father is as capable as mother to wake up, change diapers, remove gas from the baby’s tummy, learn to calm the first cries, comfort a baby for a tummy ache … just as mom is as capable of providing financial support as the male. 

How much are parents lost who assume that childcare is only a female responsibility!

3 A new mentality, based on co-responsibility

Not just mom, not just dad: both! The stability of our little ones depends on us, we can both work together, our children will appreciate it.

Read also: My family, my team

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