The Limit Between My Needs And Those Of My Children.

Should parents pay for their children’s college, or are they the ones who should pay for it? Is it necessary for parents to look only to their old age, or should the future of their children be a priority?

When my children were young, I tried to give them as much time and the best possible care as I was capable of. At that time a friend told me: «Your children should not be your priority. You have to think of yourself first. There are few years that you enjoy them; entering adolescence, they no longer even come close to you ».

I pondered on that point for a few days. Then, I decided that if my children would be close to me emotionally for so few years, I would give everything to enjoy every moment with them. Within my shortcomings, I tried to do what I could to make them feel how much I loved them. Even if they did not appreciate it, I would have the satisfaction of having done things in the best way that I could.

She spent her adolescence, with all the difficulties that derive from it. However, in one way or another they continued to be close to me physically and emotionally. Of course with the ups and downs of every relationship.

Currently they are young university students, who dedicate their time, like any boy, to studying or living with their friends. Most of the time we are away from home, due to the different occupations of each one of us. However when I arrive, I continue to feel the union of my family.

A few days ago, I heard the same idea again from another close friend. This time the advice was for my old age. She said that among all the siblings they had to pay for a nurse to take care of their parents who live in another city. “Imagine, if we who are many, we fight; how it will be when the children are only one or two. It will be difficult for them; that’s why you have to see for yourself ”—and then she concluded—:“ They have to pay their university expenses ”.

I keep considering his words, and I wonder to what extent it is necessary to see for oneself. Make them pay for their college degree so they can save for an uncertain future.

To answer that question, I first had to answer a few others:

  • Do my children really value what is being given to them?

  • Are they good students and will they know how to respond to the challenge that is presented to them?

  • Are you willing to prioritize studies?

  • Am I able to pay for their studies and at the same time continue saving for my old age?

  • Do they really want to have a university degree, or are my illusions that send them to start it?

  • What will it take to sacrifice in order to do so?

  • Am I aware that they will leave, despite everything?

  • Does my child have skills that can help him in his life, without the need to attend college?

  • Can they do it themselves?

No one can guess the future. My friend’s ideas are real. We don’t know what our old age will be like and what kinds of challenges it will bring with it. But we must consider the future of our children in the same way. The challenges that arise are increasingly difficult, so they must be prepared to face them. The final decision must be made as a family, taking into account each of the possibilities, but I have the impression that those who only think about themselves will ultimately have to do with themselves, and those who are generous with their offspring have more. likely to pass that generosity on to your children and grandchildren. I dont know exactly. What do you think?

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