If you have doubts that your current partner is the right person you should marry, read on. This article can help you clarify the picture.
What an important decision it is to choose wisely the person with whom you will spend the rest of your life. Despite its importance, many times it is taken lightly, just taking into account superficial things of the chosen person, without going deeper, or seeing further if it is the right person.
Choose the right person for you
Being in love is not reason enough. You may unintentionally be in love with a “bad person for you.” It’s true that no one is perfect, but there are things you can deal with and others you just can’t accept, for your own good. For example, if you are a person who considers the use of toxic substances and the consumption of intoxicating beverages inappropriate, can you imagine what would happen if you marry a person who engages in these behaviors on a daily basis, which are inappropriate for you? This would be condemning yourself to living in a hell of your own.
For this reason, beyond the fact that for some people drinking alcohol or using drugs is not a problem, you should choose the person who is good for you, who shares your concept of what is appropriate, well, desirable in a person. As unromantic as it may seem, in this sense, love is not enough.
For many people physical attraction is enough, that they make them feel good and that love is reciprocal. This may seem like enough to you, because in a way it meets your standard. However there are other things, also important that you could consider. It’s not about going after the perfect man or woman, because they don’t exist. But you do have to look at certain and certain things, which will make your marriage successful and much easier and more bearable.
Dating is precisely for that, to know who is the person with whom there is a great probability of starting a family. I know that maybe you will say something very common, that we have heard for a long time and it is “that you never finish knowing the person, until you get married.” Those who are already married will say that this is true, but it is also true that a large part of the attributes of your partner you know in the period of the courtship. At least enough to determine if he is the right person or not. In other words, the courtship is the preamble to what your marriage will be.
There are cases in which there was not even that prelude, that is, enough time to get to know each other because there are things that were anticipated, such as an unplanned pregnancy or an accelerated decision, prompted by the desire of the moment. In these circumstances, not much can be done, the decision has already been made and it is almost too late for regret. But, if you still haven’t taken the big step of getting married, read on and consider some of these tips.
From courtship to marriage
It is important that you take into account that the person, man or woman, respects you, honors you, values you, is concerned about your well-being, is responsible, faithful, loyal, honest, visionary, loving, thoughtful, generous and endless values and virtues that although they seem more of the same, are extremely important. Your partner almost certainly won’t have them all, but there are many that can be missed and cultivated along the way, while others are momentous. If, on the other hand, your partner is the opposite of the aforementioned values, it is reason enough to run away from that relationship.
Lee: How to know if he is material to marry?
Why should you run away? As simple as that a person is not changed by just signing a document, or a ring on the hand. I firmly believe that people can change and improve, but you must take into account that it is quite likely that if a person lies to you frequently during the courtship, they will also do so after they are married, for example. If he has been unfaithful to you while dating, it is almost certain that he will also do it when married; If he controls and dominates you completely in an excessive way, the same will happen when they are married; If you frequently abuse verbally or physically during the pre-marital period, then you will also do so once you are married.
It’s true that all relationships have problems, but there are bigger things you can avoid if you make wise decisions on time. There are things that you simply cannot accept or be a part of. You must be strong and decisive enough to put an end to unhealthy and harmful relationships, where there are more moments of pain and tragedy, than those that fill you with joy and happiness.
Do not stop because of the social or spiritual pressure that you may feel, because it may happen that you do not cut off those relationships out of obligation or because of “what they will say” in your closest circles. Also, don’t be afraid of leaving the wrong person out of compassion, out of fear of being left alone, or out of simple habit. If something does not go well in the courtship, it will hardly go well in the marriage. In the courtship, you are still in time to put an end to that relationship that does not have a good future.
It doesn’t matter how many times you make mistakes, until you are sure that you have found the right person to start a family. A breakup does not mean the end of everything. Be smart, it’s about your life, your future. The opinion of your parents and people with more experience also counts and can help you a lot, listen to other wise people who can give you good advice. And above all, lean on God.