The physical and psychological effects of the absence of a father or mother last over time, even when we are adults.
I was barely twenty-three years old when a murderer suddenly took my father’s life. That night, we had greeted each other with a kiss and had dinner as a family. And as in a nightmare, the calendar indicated that October 6 a date to be forgotten.
My father’s death was unfair, cowardly, and tremulous. It marked a before and after in the life of my mother and of us, his daughters. But also, it caused a wound in our being that was difficult to heal; We never fully understood or accepted her death.
Heal the wound, but the scar remains
Death, like life, are the two great mysteries that have always worried humanity. When a loved one dies, sadness invades us and we feel great regret. But when our parents die, the wound takes a long time to heal. And when he heals, the scar still remains.
Yes, life goes forward. And the law is to see our parents go; But even so, our heart resists the emotional upheaval generated by the loss of those who have given us life. And sometimes, that duel that is not overcome, takes a toll on the psychological and physical.
The phases of mourning
My first reaction when I learned about the way my father had died was anger, anger, hopelessness and withdrawal from my Faith. Then, over time, I understood God’s plans, and the phases of mourning began to appear in all its splendor.
Elisabeth Kübler-Ross is a renowned psychologist who developed a theory about the five stages of grief. It serves to demonstrate how the human being acts in the face of the loss of a loved one and how his mind reacts.
The five stages are denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. According to this theory, not all people go through each stage in that order, nor do they pass through each one of them necessarily. But they do give us insight into how we react when someone we love passes away.
The death of our parents affects body and mind
The expertsThey claim that when one of our parents dies, a series of chemical changes take place in the brain that can lead to psychic transformations and physical variations. And these changes can last for long years, into adult life, and become pathological.
When a child experiences the traumatic or unexpected death of one of his parents or caregivers, he can remain in the phases of denial or anger for a long time. This will negatively impact your body, according to specialists.
For example, a person who cannot get out of any of these stages may be diagnosed with depression or various emotional and mental disorders. In addition, several studies have confirmed the changes that occur in the brain in the areas of pain processing, showing the real impact.
Physical changes after grief
Jumoke Omojola, a clinical social worker in Nebraska, United States, explains that some of the physical changes after the loss of parents can be stomachaches and headaches, dizziness, lack or excess of appetite, insomnia or extreme fatigue.
And it is that the body absolutely resents everything that happens to us. When our chest hurts, our soul hurts. Our body is the recipient of the real way we feel after the loss of our parents. And this can have serious health consequences.
Unresolved grief can lead to a series of heart problems, immune disorders, and even cancer, according to a study.
Therefore, if you have lost your mother or father, and you still feel a deep pain that is difficult to dissipate, you may be going through some of the phases of grief and you cannot overcome it. Seek help, your health is worth it.
Changes in mind
According to a investigation, 40% of people in mourning suffer from depression, greater or lesser, their rate of mortality,and you are at higher risk of committing suicide. And although antidepressant treatment has been proven to help overcome grief, experts also point out that faith and religion they can ease the pain of loss.
According to American Psychological Association, It is normal for people who have lost their parents to experience emotions such as sadness, anger, rage, anxiety, guilt, or remorse.
Two days had passed since my father’s death, and with my mother and sister we went horseback riding. We spent a beautiful day, there were laughter and photographs that portrayed the moment. From a distance, I can see that that day we acted really strange. Something made us avoid showing pain, and smiles covered our broken hearts.
Get over the pain
It is amazing to see how the human mind acts when pain tears our souls at the death of our parents, or of any loved one. However, life continues and we must overcome, for ourselves, for our children, and for the memory of the one who left.
Life goes on, and we must rely on those people who do us good and can understand what happens to us. Talking about death, many times makes us understand it in some way, and helps us to relieve the emotional burden.
Surrounding ourselves with people with whom we can cry, scream or just be silent can help us cope with loss. The death of our parents can put in check our foundations in life, even when we are adults, so we must be attentive to the prolongation in time of negative emotions, and seek pertinent help.
Lean on Faith
It can be very difficult at first, but having faith that at the end of the road we will meet our loved ones again, can mitigate the pain of loss. They are now a being of light, and have eternal life. The day will come when we embrace them again. We will unite again and feel the comfort of your presence.
Lean on your family, but above all, take refuge in faith. God has wonderful plans for us, and although we do not understand them – and it takes us to see them – they are there. Life is wonderful; life goes on, and it deserves to be lived intensely . Come on, you can get over it!