Teaching Respect To Children: Something That Depends Only On You

You are their guide and best example.

One of the values ​​that we most appreciate in other people throughout our lives is respect. Being respectful is vital for relationships with the people around us; whether it be our children, our colleagues at work, or we are the heads of a large company.

Being such a valued value, the reality today is far from what it was in previous years. Our grandparents and parents always tried to make us learn the correct way to behave and relate to others; but now the education in values ​​and civility has been relaxed enough; even more so when it is something that must be taught at home and does not depend on teachers in educational institutions.

But really, what is respect?

There is much talk about respect but what it consists of is not always well understood. According to the psychologist Josefina Martínez ,   respect is the consideration of the other as “a legitimate self “; that is, to give other people a treatment similar to what I would give myself.

It is because of the above, that respect is much more than something I give to others, because it includes not allowing myself to be sullied by others; knowing how to put limits on the treatment that others grant me.

How do children learn to be respectful?

It will seem that this is an argument that is repeated over and over again, but what are we going to do if it is the most tangible reality in life: you are the best example for your children.

I’m going to put it this way: your children are kind of like little sponges; Everything you do and they witness it, they will repeat it as you do it. If you say a bad word, they will say it without even knowing what they are saying.

The same thing will happen if you interrupt your partner when he is talking to you, or if you yell or push him in front of your children, they will do exactly the same as you do, with their mother or father, with their brothers, friends and schoolmates .

Going to this truth, do the right thing. I don’t mean to say that you behave perfectly, that’s absurd; What I mean is that you know how to react to situations that involve others, or yourself.

Therefore, when you are angry, speak wisely and without yelling or swearing. When you feel frustrated, don’t throw things around. There are other ways of reacting to complex everyday situations that your children can imitate to make them more controlled and less explosive.

How to teach children to be respectful?

Teaching children depends on age. First, you have to know how to use the correct corrections according to the child’s age. It is not the same to correct a teenager who answers badly to his mother, than to a 4-year-old boy who one day woke up with the desire not to go to school and becomes rebellious.

Teach respect to children between the ages of 2 and 10

Bearing in mind that it is said that every child at that age ‘measures his parents’ to see how far (yes, your child see you to know your limits), then you must know how to apply the  dis – discipline.

The child may want to do his bidding, lose control and throw you a tantrum; And believe me, you will want to scream of helplessness or hide from shame and more if you do it in public, but that is the moment where you should know how to correct it.

Do you remember that when you did something similar, your mother gave you that special look that tacitly told you: “at home we fix”? Well, do something similar or otherwise, take your child to a secluded place and without ridiculing him, draw his attention to his misconduct. To achieve this, ask him what is wrong with him, what he feels – perhaps he is even sick and you don’t know it and that is the reason for his discomfort-; With knowledge in hand, explain to him (if his screams are caused by a vehement desire for something) that he will not have what he wants at the right moment.

Always speak clearly and directly, your children may not speak clearly, but they do understand well. Sit them down and tell them that if they want something from you they shouldn’t yell like giving orders, that they should always say please and thank you. And you, when they ask you for something and they don’t use those “magic” words, tell them; “How do you ask?” or “What do you say?” and they will learn it for life.

 

Lead children to respect during adolescence

If you teach your children to be respectful in their early years, you won’t have to struggle as much in their teens. However, if reinforcement is necessary, as a mother or father you should not hesitate to do so.

There are cases where boys, having been very docile and obedient children, become rebellious in adolescence. That is normal to some extent, as adolescence is a difficult age. Still, you shouldn’t tolerate them being rude to you or anyone else.

If that’s the case with you, speak up to him about what he’s doing and that it’s not right or fair to you. If the situation remains the same, you should be more strict, and try with certain restrictions:

-Don’t let him watch TV

-Cut internet access

-Don’t leave your computer, tablet or cell phone

-Don’t let him see his friends

 

Remember that making your child take over part of the housework is part of his responsibility for being home, so punishing him with that is a bit out of place.

-What you can do is increase your responsibilities, for example:

-Mowing the lawn (if not included within the rules)

-Go shopping with you

-Cut his allowance to give to charity (if you give him money for the month)

-Clean and collect garbage from the block of the neighborhood where they reside

The point is that your children know that being disrespectful will have consequences, and that you will not allow them to be unhelpful people for them and society.

To the extent that your child knows how to behave with you or others, he will know how to make himself respected by those around him.

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