The death of a loved one hurts. So don’t ever stop telling them how much you love them, as long as you have them with you.
When he died my soul ached. I remember that I screamed trying to alleviate the pain that his death caused me and even then it did not stop hurting; only time helped me get through it. Then more deaths of loved ones followed, but they all hurt in different ways. Even so, I still miss them, thinking about what my life would be like if they were still by my side.
I have to be honest, I believe in life after this existence. I really hope with all the strength of my heart that when I die, I can reconnect with all those loved ones who still occupy a place in my life, because they are never truly forgotten.
The devastating event we all must live with
Losing someone you love can be one of the most painful experiences in life. Some people can get over that death soon; however, there are others who do not, and spend their entire lives wondering what they could or could not do to prevent the death of whoever they wanted.
But if one thing is certain, it is that not all deaths of family members or friends hurt in the same way. My grandmother lost a daughter a few days after she was born, and she suffered a lot. My mother tells me that my grandmother once told her that there is no death more painful than that of a child; and later she would also lose her beloved husband.
The truth is that if there is something I am very afraid of, it is the day my parents die. Ultimately, a person’s life changes a lot with the death of someone who occupies an important place in their life.
But it is that death is inevitable, and something that I am very aware of now is that the more resistance we have towards it, the more we reject the idea that one day we will all be going through that situation, the harder will be the pain that we will have to face .
Overcoming the duel
Whether we realize it or not, when go dead As a loved one, we go through a series of stages that progress depending on the process that each of us is capable of undergoing.
The first stage is denial
When someone dies, intense pain comes over us, which we want to deny. The loss is inconceivable and the suffering is such that our mind does not process it.
The second stage is anger
Some may deny God because of the effects of death. We do not understand how I was able to make us face something as cruel as death.
The third stage is conciliation
You try to find reasons to help you deal with the absence. You think about what it would have been like if you had done this or that and you just realize that you couldn’t do anything.
The fourth stage is depression
An immense sadness ensues, where you lose the desire to live.
The fifth stage is acceptance
It is the final step, where healing and overcoming death is incorporated into daily life.
After that process, what happens?
Of course, life goes on and we are able to move on; But of course, who died is still valid for us no matter how long it has been since the last day we were by his side.
We all have different ways of keeping the memories of those who have already died “alive”. There are those who take the ashes to their homes and have an altar for them, in Japan for example, this is customary.
In Colombia for some time it has been customary to take the ashes to cemetery parks, there the family members plant a tree next to them to commemorate the existence of their deceased relative. There are also the typical cemeteries that are usually filled with relatives who carry flowers and pray or even speak with their relatives.
In Mexico there is a special day in November where families prepare altars that fill with flowers, photos and prepare the meals that their dead loved ones liked in life. They believe that by that date, they are allowed to return to their families for that night.
Anyway, we all resort to some “ritual” to ease the emotional burden of the absence of our dead. There are even those who speak with their deceased, and the truth is that there is nothing wrong with this.
Do you talk to your “dead”?
If so, it is the most natural thing in the world. It is one more way to alleviate your suffering, to overcome the denial and depression that you plunged into when he or she left this world.
You are adjusting to a new life without his presence. Talking with your mother, father, partner or dead child helps you discover a new way to love them, to give them a place in your existence even if they are no longer with you physically. It also favors the motivation to continue living despite suffering.
Some people can talk with their deceased until the last day of their lives and others until they overcome the pain and are able to remember them without causing them immense sadness.
The point is that talking to those you loved who are no longer in this world relieves you a lot, and if it is for your good, why not do it?
However, if overcoming the grief of the death of someone you love is very difficult for you, it is best that you seek the help of a therapist to help you make a closure so that you can continue with your life.
I know from my own experience that if there is something very painful in life it is losing someone, knowing that you will never see them again in this existence and that perhaps there are many things that were never said, it hurts. For this reason, never stop saying ” I love you “, ” I’m sorry I hurt you “. Don’t think twice about giving a hug, a kiss and spending time with your loved ones, you never know when you will be able to see them again.