We all know that life is lived in stages, but are we really allowing our children to live their stages calmly and at their own pace? How to spoil your children: teach them to run before they walk.
It is a normal day at the Fernández family home: both parents have just arrived from work, they greet their children as usual, but when they enter Mariana’s room they are surprised. She is made up to perfection, with a miniskirt that barely covers her underwear, she wears a tiny purse and heels so high that it’s hard to imagine how many inches bigger she looks. At the age of 13, she has begun to act as if she were an adult, independent woman, with the full right to go out to party with her friends on Friday nights, instead of doing her homework and sleeping the hours necessary to go to school at night. the morning.
Girls aren’t prettier if they look like grown-ups
What happened? When did you start acting this way? Is it the fault of the environment that surrounds her or of the parents, who did not notice her constant changes in attitude? In my opinion, I think they opened their eyes late, and inadvertently encouraged her to run before teaching her to walk. And since she was little they have shown her how nice it is to look like an adult: they celebrated that at the age of 5 she kissed her classmates in kindergarten and to make her look more flirtatious, they began to give her small purses (bags) that would match her clothes and nail polish to make her look like a princess, before she could even write her own first and last names. Why should it surprise us then that today, at 13 years old, she spends half her allowance on clothes and the other on nail care?
Children have an incredible capacity to adapt to the environment around them, and today more than ever they are overexposed to stimuli that invite them to be “perfect” people. Advertising does a strong job of making them believe that being an attractive and slim person is enough to earn a full living, inducing them to skip the stages leading up to their psychological, physical and emotional development.
This is where the abilities of parents come into play to protect their childhood and their right to be a child who explores the world according to the stages that affect them and not those imposed by society, advertising and paradigms. That is why I share some tips that could be useful to you so that you do not have a case like Mariana’s at home in a couple of years, or perhaps sooner:
1. Don’t rush your stages
From the moment they are born, the little ones are forced to fulfill certain parameters: that they sleep through the night, that they feed themselves from time to time, that they measure or weigh what is stipulated by the average of society. Giving up the diaper is a stage, not an obligation as soon as they are 2 years old. Nor is it about not stimulating, but about knowing how to “read” certain guidelines that tell us that our children are ready for the next phase.
2. Set limits
They will not always have everything they want, as they must strive for it. Learn to say no when necessary and instill habits that allow you to develop harmoniously with society.
3. Don’t help him behave like an adult
Avoid giving him products that he does not need for his age. Forget about makeup, smartphones, and wardrobe accessories that make them look like mini-adults.
4. Control your leisure time
It makes it easy for you to have life experiences that help you remember your childhood as a beautiful time. Let him play with dirt, let him explore the garden, show him how the environment works. Plan more family activities, their participation in sports workshops and contact with nature.
Never allow your children to run and then walk, because each stage has something wonderful to be remembered for, they must live it without pressure so that they can grow step by step and be fully children.