We have learned three principles to avoid reacting to circumstances. Now I give you two more principles to get out of those negative situations in an effective, immediate and permanent way.
In the first part of this article, Principles for managing emotions effectively. Part 1 of 2, we talk about three effective principles for managing emotions in daily life; aspects that can help you and your children, to face frustration and be victorious. Now I present two more helps:
Stop asking, “Why?”
How many times do you bless the people who cross your path and the situations that happen to you every day and every moment? Do you think that everything you live, if you don’t like it, is negative? Each and every second of your life, whether you like it or not, are or can be of use to you “for something”. It is very important that you teach your children that adversity makes us open and expand our senses, alert our minds and develop action strategies. We are thinking beings and that implies having “possibilities” that translate into situations of risk, challenge and above all of leaving our comfort zone and that generally hurts (although you can educate yourself to enjoy adversity ).
If you want your young child to develop his potential, you will always challenge him, you will face him with situations that he can solve but he must use his intelligence, his expertise, his skills to get out of there and have his own conclusions, having thus obtained a range of experiences that give you a learning that will serve you forever. And the most shocking thing is your son who will never ask you why you do him, or take him off, or put him on!
Would it be logical to interpret that life does the same with us? So it’s good to stop wanting to know from adolescence. Why is this happening to me? Why can’t I have or do what I want? Why me? The why?” it takes you back in time and it can become a trap you can never get out of; a circle that has you spinning over and over again in a feeling of frustration. While the “What for?” is the right question: It puts you in a present oriented towards the future! It is the question that leads you to discover that everything you live has a purpose and you will not always be able to see it immediately. Teach your children that if you cannot answer it in the moment, it is wise to leave the question there, drop it, and in due course the answer will manifest itself.
No one can see in the other, something different from what they carry within themselves
This law will help you to bond with yourself and with others. Someone, tired of so much pessimism and criticism around her among her friends, decided to do an exercise: she took a pen and paper and began to write down what her most frequent thoughts and feelings were. After a week, she made a count of the positive and productive thoughts and all those that acted as negative and unproductive. She considered herself studious, dedicated and sophisticated, yet she almost fainted when she realized that only 15% were enthusiastic. The exercise asked him for a second stage, where he now had to write down everything he thought about situations, people (including complaints, criticisms and blessings alike), at the end of that week, he thought: “It can’t be, I got the same percentage in my results!”.
This exercise allowed her to realize through a record that she could actually quantify her stale thoughts and emotions, acknowledging them, but what was surprising was what she discovered: they were inversely proportional to the way she viewed the people and situations in her life! ! Then she understood why the attitude of her companions bothered her: she saw a mirror of herself, she knew that what caused her annoyance and discomfort was that negative part of her that saw her in action in them. It is the law of the mirror.
Remember these principles every time you are in a compromising emotional situation and try to teach them to your children. Then you will see that you will be able to loosen the bonds that only you have put on yourself and you will help your children to grow up safe. So, if you consider that reading it has had value in your life, support other people by sharing this article.