You want to be happy? Learn not to run away from pain, because it is through it that we discover the true meaning of love, gratitude, being whole.
As my baby falls asleep in my arms, latched onto my breast, a wish comes to mind: at this moment the world could end, and it would be fine.
This feeling is so rich! Feel the rise and fall of his breathing, the warmth of his small body, see his face that I adore … Later, I think that if that had happened when I thought about it when I had my first baby in my arms, I would never have met this little one who today I fall in love. I imagine that my mother also felt something similar and she let it pass, she had to! Like many others throughout the history of humanity.
Some time ago, going through a particularly hard time, my husband asked me: “Are you happy with me?” I knew he was referring to the problems and difficulties we faced; to sleepless nights, to worries for the children, for the family, for everything. He was surprised at my emphasis on the answer, “Of course I do! How can you say it, when things are like this?
Being happy is more than always being happy
Fortunately, I am past adolescence, and I have learned that happiness is much more than the ecstatic state of infatuation; it is the sum of small moments of joy, gratitude and love. I can be happy despite having more problems than the fingers of both hands, despite being awake or having a cold.
Relee: Being happy is not the product of a magic formula, it is in you
Being happy is not free
My mother lived moments like the ones she told at the beginning of this article, and they happened, fortunately for her and for us. After we grew up, the quarrels between siblings began, the schoolwork, the eternal dispute to pick up toys and, not very shortly after, the dreaded adolescence. I know that mine brought my mother many more headaches than she would want to admit and that, surely even today, both I and my siblings are a constant concern in her heart. But I also know that it is thanks to those moments of pain that today I can experience my own moments of happiness, of fulfillment. Thanks Mom! And to my mother’s mother, and her father, and all those who, in some way or another, make us who we are.
Happiness has a price: pain
I do not mean to promote a kind of masochism, on the contrary! If today I can enjoy reading a good novel it is because many years ago I suffered a little learning the letters; If I can run today, it is because when I was little I tripped and fell countless times. The moments of pain that life itself brings us, living them with meaning will only enhance the small and great joys that are to come.
I invite you to read: Living pain, to live without pain
To be happy, you have to love it
Viktor Frankl, a Viennese psychologist, compares happiness to a butterfly that the more we chase, the more it flees from us. But if we turn our attention to other things – the little things – “she comes and gently sits on your shoulder.” “Happiness – Frankl continues – is not an inn on the road, but a way of walking through life.” We must then take responsibility for our own existence, for our own happiness.
I also invite you to reread: Why me? Because right now? Why in this way?
May the world not end! Difficult times will come, and happy times will also come, let them come!