The dangers of raising “perfect” children. Why is it not good to do it?
“It is the most overstimulated generation in history, with an allergy to patience, loneliness and boredom”
Psych. Alice Banderas
For about ten years it has been more common to see an educational offer aimed at children under two years of age where classes are offered from music, languages, robotics, mathematics, emotional education and even dance. I was not left with the doubt and I visited an early stimulation center to see for myself that wonder they offered of “preparing your child for success and happiness from a young age”.
This type of programs, classes or courses has been increasing due to the demand of parents with the following characteristics:
Access to too much information (and not exactly correct)
The Internet and social networks have made it possible for us to access almost any information we want with the press of a key, and suddenly we are all knowledgeable about everything and specialist in nothing.
Many fathers have read a lot about child development but not scientific or research-backed literature, and they just read other mothers’ recommendations; or even worse: only the titles of some report and they are left with half-way information; and this is very dangerous.
With some purchasing power
Definitely, those who send their babies to take this type of course have a certain socio-economic level to pay for them. But also other parents pressured by society, make financial efforts to be able to send the minor to take one of these courses, because they easily believe that these will make a difference in their university or professional lives.
With one or two children maximum
I had the opportunity to meet a couple who, after thinking about it a lot, decided to have only one child so that they could give him all the best and not suffer from how much they suffered in their own childhoods by having to “share their things, food and even their parents with other siblings ”. It is valid.
Competitive, very competitive
These parents are highly competitive. PFor them, winning is everything and as someone says “second place is first loser”.
These parents are those who in children’s games get very angry when the team loses, they get angry with the referee, the coach, other parents and even with the son. For them, children are the prolongation of their own being; therefore, if your child fails, they are failing and that is intolerable.
Educated but insecure
There are so many voices heard by today’s parents that at some point they stop trusting their own instincts and forget them, seeking to please everyone who makes any observation or recommendation about how to raise their children.
The stimulation a baby needs
You may find it disconcerting to learn that children do not require more effort than human nature itself dictates. Early stimulation is “any play or contact with the baby that is made to strengthen and encourage them to adequately develop their human potentials.”
The over stimulation it can damage those processes. Be very careful and watch your child.
Which? All those games that parents instinctively play with babies: repeating words, hiding from the child’s gaze, making funny faces, running around the house and singing nursery rhymes over and over again accompanied by movement. Observing your child will guide you on what he needs.
Young children also require free moments where they can make up games or even “get bored.” This feeling encourages creativity and ingenuity like few things.
Playing with water, stones, earth and any other safe material for children is very enriching. Going barefoot, experiencing textures, shapes and sounds provides children with many sensitive experiences. Leaving percussions, flavors and building material at his fingertips can be a whole new world for him.
Love, affection and physical contact
No class, course or workshop can overcome the security that a child can gain when he feels and knows himself loved by his parents and other relatives. Sincere love educates, shapes and enriches. Don’t limit your displays of love for your children.
Children love listening to their parents read stories to them. This is a great resource that does make a difference in the school age of your children. All the times you can do it do not lose them, take advantage of them.
Children under the age of two require spending time at home with their family more than spending their class time in class. Until the age of 5 or 6, children can start taking an extra class but without any pressure. Their teachers will help you determine whether it is recommended or not, since school programs are currently very ambitious and at these ages children do not require a full-time schedule.
I invite you to read “Overstimulated children”, By Alicia Banderas; reading that will surely help you in your training as a father or mother.