One morning your son announces that he is leaving home, that he wants to start living alone and in a second your world falls apart. Cheer up! This is a good opportunity to strengthen family ties. Do you want to know how?
After reading the article The NEET epidemic threatens every home, a reader kindly told me: “I don’t want my son to be a nini, but I am very afraid that he will leave home.” Undoubtedly, it is true that many mothers have experienced fear or feel insecure every time a son (and more if it is a daughter) announces that he has decided to leave home, so we are going to talk a little about the possible reasons for this decision and its consequences, okay?
It’s not so bad for your child to leave home
There is not much to worry about if the reason for leaving home is that you want to continue your studies, start a new company or simply because you want to build a life outside the family nucleus. The idea that leaving the family nucleus is only possible by getting married and starting a family is a thing of the past. Perhaps another of your reasons may be because you are experiencing a family problem. If this is the case, it is recommended that you focus on working to solve the problem and not just prevent it from leaving. If she finally decides to leave, you will have made a sincere effort to understand, accept and support her decision.
Studies on this subject have revealed that currently young people between 18 and 30 are leaving their homes being single, for some of the following reasons:
1. Improve your financial condition
Young people are no longer willing or able to contribute to family expenses, or perhaps they just want to do things for themselves. If this is the case, make no mistake by asking him to stay in exchange for no longer contributing to meet the financial needs of the family. Her decision is good, your child wants and deserves to grow up.
2. Have a home of your own, set your own rules
Thinking about changing the house rules for the ones that suit him is not a good idea. The need for your own space is valid and necessary as well as the challenge of establishing your own rules. You can support him in this new stage by searching with him for apartments and allowing him to take some objects from home, such as bedding.
3. Acquire luxury items that you could not have at home
For some parents it can be frustrating for a child to give this as a reason to leave home. We may be afraid to think that our child is still immature to leave home, share with other young people the responsibilities of running a home, taking care of himself and managing money. The best thing is to talk with your child, listen to him and respect his decision. Ask him how or what you can support him with and offer any help you can give him, for example, with the moving process.
It is important to establish, if you think so, that activities such as laundry, daily food, grocery shopping and others that you may have been doing until then, are now your responsibility. On the other hand, it is not recommended that you overwhelm him with calls all the time or unexpected visits, as this could have an adverse effect on your relationship. Ask when you can visit him or schedule family gatherings at your house and invite him to share some time together.
Finally, it could be a good touch to organize a farewell with the family to make this a happy moment, which means the beginning of a new stage in your life. For your son, knowing that you respect him, support him and that the house he leaves will always be his home will make him feel more secure and calm with the decision he is making. You will always be his family, but now he is in charge of his own boat and he will do very well.
Keep in mind that things do not always work out as boys think, so many find it necessary to return home. Don’t celebrate his failure, don’t clip his wings. Help him understand that we always learn something from all experiences, that flight is worth retrying knowing that you will always be there to encourage him to pursue his dreams.