This article talks about the tough task of staying whole as a family, in adverse circumstances, and being helpful, without dying of pain trying.
MY CHILD IN PRISON? While my husband parked the car, between tears I read the sign that said: “Penitentiary”. I just couldn’t get out of the car, my husband extended his hand to me and helped me cross the road, which seemed the widest of my life, he hugged me and said, “It’s not a cemetery, it’s going to come out of here” and I asked him: “Love: where did we fail? Why do we have to come see a son of ours here? ” He didn’t answer me. He was crying too and I don’t think he had the answer either. While we were waiting for someone to attend us, I remembered the scene of the previous day, when we received the terrible news that our son would go to prison, it was December 22, and one of the things we said with our other children, all gathered together hugging and crying for Such harsh news was that it was going to be the worst Christmas of our lives. Suddenly a door opened and a policeman tried to calm me down, while I repeated it must be a mistake, with pity in his eyes, the officer offered to see my son even for a little while. He was going to make an exception, since he saw me so desperate and it was Christmas Eve; such a special day for families. It was one of the saddest images of my life, my handcuffed son saying to me: “Sorry mommy. Please don’t cry anymore ”. I hugged him very tightly and said: “Love, please don’t let this be just a bad experience; let this be the lesson of your life ”. What are some of the things we learned from that lesson? What is the best way to react as a family? I share the following, as some things that may be useful to someone who goes through a similar situation:
Seek to learn from that experience
I repeated that phrase to him many times in those eternal four months and sixteen days in prison: “Love, please don’t let this be just a bad experience; let this be the lesson of your life ”. Very hard days, always thinking if they would hurt him, if he would eat, how he would feel and a thousand other things.
Seek the unity of the family
Between us and our children, we took turns so that he did not miss the presence of one of us in each visit, that he had our kisses, hugs, laughter, conversations;
Make you feel like you are still part of the family
We wanted you to hear the latest news from your nephews, whom you love with all your heart.
Trying to make your prison stay more humane
We collected all the money we could together to buy him supplies and everything he needed for his personal hygiene and even so that he could share with his cellmates and his life would become easier in that horrible place.
Do not lose hope
How to convey how difficult, sad and desperate those months were, but what I can express is that today, just over a year after such a sad event, when I see him happy and until he has formed a beautiful family, I firmly believe that It was the lesson of his life and that he will never make a mistake that will take him to that place again.
Detect problems early
Besides, I also have the answer to the question I asked my husband that fateful day: where did we go wrong? Yes, it is true, we fail in many things, like any parent, because children do not come with an instruction manual under their arms, only that we could not see our failures in time, as any human being fails because that is our condition: we are failures.
Never lose faith in God
We learned that the only one who does not fail is God and that with faith, we can see His hand, His power, His guidance.
Seeking to increase love in the family
Now that the experience has passed, we are proud of our beautiful family and that we realized more than ever because of this experience that we had to live: that whatever mistake any of us makes, or the most beautiful news that has to be give any of us, all the others will be there to support you, to laugh or cry without judging or claiming, just being there and that is the best that we could transmit to our children and that they learned it and give it with as much love as one true FAMILY that we are, the best we have in this life.