If your little one expresses biting, do not ignore it, it is trying to tell you something. Here we tell you what you can do about it.
One of the many surprises a mother experiences when her child enters kindergarten or preschool is that the teacher calls her and says: “Ma’am, your son bit a classmate.”
Has it already happened to you?
And the moms are really surprised, because surely at home the child has not bitten anyone but, in the face of the bitten arm of the companion or the complaint of the other mother, everything is clear: your child bites at school.
How is that possible?
Why does this happen if my child is very quiet at home? It is the first question that worried moms ask the educator or psychologist to whom they immediately run because they think there is something wrong with the little one or with them!
So if this is your story, let me share some ideas that will surely help you handle this situation properly.
Learning to handle the situation
For educators, teachers and caregivers of young children it is also not easy and much less pleasant to tell a mother that her child bit someone or that her child was bitten by a partner, the latter is often very, very unpleasant to do.
Also, if a teacher gives you this news, avoid these three thoughts:
1 “His classmates are a bad influence on my son, he will learn to do wrong things”
2 “I shouldn’t have put him in school so soon, better I leave it at home one more year”
3 “The teacher is terrible, it can’t be possible that she can’t take good care of my son”
Although these thoughts may be normal and even logical, they are not correct or entirely true.
Let me explain a little more
The bites usually occur in children between 1 and 2 years old when they begin to attend day care centers, ranches or child care centers. At this age, children have not developed enough maturity or the necessary language to clearly express emotions such as anger, anxiety or jealousy.
To the children until the moment they enter school, their parents have solved their problems and when they arrive at the children’s room they will face the same with the minimum intervention of an adult and as if that were not enough, they will learn to wait to be attended .
Waiting and sharing toys is a total change in your life and of course, it creates a lot of stress
At this age it is still possible that some children continue to experience the end of the oral phase of development in which putting everything in their mouth is one of the best ways to explore and know their world and to top it off, teeth are sprouting, which produces extreme sensitivity and pain in the mouth.
Then the bite can become a relief and not precisely the desire to hurt someone. The little ones do not know that they hurt the other child until they are shown.
To communicate at this age, children usually cry and when they bite, and in some cases it can be the consequence of a very rigid discipline at home, having experienced physical punishment or even having experienced physical violence.
After 3 years they should no longer bite
Children begin their schooling around the age of 3, and at that age the bites should be over, as they express themselves better and begin to solve their problems in other ways.
5 ideas to stop your child from biting
Write down these ideas and tips that will help you solve this problem:
1 Children under 2 years of age: attract attention in the moment
If your child under the age of two bites, you should immediately say “no” firm and clear. TYour tone of voice is more than enough, no scolding or sermons.
The little one should understand with that no that you disapprove of that behavior, show displeasure with your face, never with blows.
If necessary, separate him from the group of children without isolating him, but so that he understands that this behavior is not acceptable. The same for slaps or scratches.
2 Between 2 and 3 years: explain it in words
If it is between 2 and 3 years old, you can tell it “that hurts” and please, don’t bite it! Things don’t work that way!
Help him understand and verbalize what he is feeling, for example: “You are frustrated because your partner took the toy”
3 It distorts the axis of attention
If he’s biting for attention, don’t meet his goal; You carry or hug him until that incident is over, otherwise he will see that his strategy works.
4 Show that violence is never an option
Help your child by example and various opportunities to practice it at home, to learn to ask for things as well as express their feelings, speak to solve problems and never use violence in any of its forms.
And last but not least,
5 Look at the bitten child and his reactions
Observing this can help you to see what is causing the one who bites definitively, but also “the bitten” may be learning to receive attacks, not to manifest it and defend himself. This vulnerable child profile is the one that bullies and even social predators will look for in the future.
Both children require the supervision of parents and teachers and when after carefully observing the constancy or repetition of events, it may be a very good idea to seek support from a child psychologist or therapist.
Early attention to simple problems that involve aggressiveness or violence is essential to achieve a harmonious, comprehensive child development, but above all, free of wounds to heal in adult life.
Thank you for keeping you informed and interested in the development of your children.