She just wanted a SIMPLE makeover. Would you do this to your daughter? What parents do and what experts advise.
I just wanted a makeover
According to what was published by OK Girls, Mary Thomaston, a stylist mother, agreed to fulfill her daughter Lyra’s request, creating a new look.
Other parents imitating
A unicorn style to Lyra’s hair, caused an explosion of comments on social networks, some in favor and others quite offensive. Comments to which the woman responded appropriately, causing more people to want to imitate her daughter’s new look, creating a trend on Instagram, where many children exhibited their new colorful LOOKS.
Mothers and daughters in the same trend
«The body is mine and I do what I want»
Surely if you have children of adolescence they have told you this when they have wanted a tattoo or want to make a hole in any part of their body more than once.
The truth is that yes, the body belongs to each one, but we cannot necessarily do what we want while we live in society. Can you imagine if I decide not to bathe anymore? As long as we live in society, this concept cannot be treated as a radical statement.
As parents we are the only ones who can decide during the minority of our children whether or not they can dye their hair, or perform a piercing or modification on their body, it is left to the discretion, culture and principles of each family.
However, some stylists of course think that it is fine as long as, after the process, more care and attention is taken to strengthen children’s hair, others such as stylist David Lesur, who works for the salon “David Kunzle” is in against coloring hair for children, whether with natural, semi-permanent or permanent dyes for adults, as they all have some form of chemicals that are not suitable for the little ones, and recommends that if a parent allows it, first perform a test allergy.
Clear rules and negotiate
This is one of the reasons why it is good to let children wait until a certain age to begin changes in their bodies. Piercing, or even hair dyeing, because the earlier they start, the sooner they get bored or something new comes out and they want it right away, placing parents in a situation where it becomes increasingly difficult for them to say no.
So the best way is to set rules in advance for younger children and negotiate with teens.
One way to establish rules is to establish a common pattern regarding the subject, with children between 8-12 years old, for example:
Age: it is important that as parents both decide from what age, you will be allowed to start with some change, such as, most commonly, dyeing your hair.
Agreement between parents: extremely important that both make a pre-agreement on what is approved or not. The difference between parents causes the child to manipulate the parts and achieve what he wants.
Find out: what product is used, and what are the likely consequences.
Explain: with time the rules, listen to your child in turn.
Try to be persistent in the established rules, they can be modified or changed according to the age or behavior of the child.
If you establish this method with your children at an early age on these issues, when they reach adolescence, although the demands are more intense, you already have a way of acting in their favor, and your adolescent child will know what to expect from you as a parent .
In addition to continuing with the basic criteria of the rules on the subject, NEGOTIATE, is the key word.
It implies that the two parties propose part of the agreement in turn part of the solution, as an example, if the young person wants a new tattoo, the son decides the design and the parents choose the size, it is a simple exercise, where both communication and Decision is made assertively.
During adolescence, requests for a change of look go beyond a simple hair color
Sometimes it is inevitable to reach a situation like this, although there are young people who have no interest in this type of looks, some want to make a new change whenever they can.
Some reasons teens choose to get tattoos, piercings, or hair coloring:
Fashion: in these times where through social networks, it is easy for anyone to impose a new style, especially if the post goes viral.
A way to imply belonging to a group, style, or trend.
As a sign of identity, something particular that individualizes them, even if it is a tattoo that everyone does, but it is different or “unique”.
To feel more attractive: during adolescence, physical appearance is very important for the approval of others, so anything that helps you feel more attractive helps.
Finding a balance as parents, between understanding the needs of the children, without falling and being permissive, is one of the most difficult but safe tasks of forming more independent and secure human beings.