A tip that a few years ago was extremely common, however, does not mean that it is appropriate. Would you give it to your daughters? The debate is open.
There is everything on the internet and one is free to say what they want. On the Mumsnet web forum a woman opened the discussion with the headline “Should we encourage our daughters to marry well ?, claiming that they should look for a wealthy man.” Hundreds of responses were swift and although many criticized her position, many others agreed with her.
What would “marry well” be?
The user posted under the pseudonym “Wendygallows” and in her position, explained that she is a single mother who sees a great benefit in advising her daughters to find men with a good financial background. This 40-year-old woman said she sees how some of her friends benefited from having a wealthy husband by allowing themselves to be mothers and stay home without the financial worries that other families have.
She explained that as a single mother who had experienced firsthand the “hard work” of raising a child on one salary, she added, to clarify to those who criticized her that “Getting married well does not mean a good marriage or relationship but it does the trick. easier things »
Detractors and supporters
The publication generated hundreds of reactions for and against. And in truth, it is a very delicate topic that puts hundreds of years of cultures and customs, as well as personal interests in check. Some criticized her concept of “marrying well”, responding that they would never tell their daughter that “marrying well” represents only the economic and financial sphere. Another user wrote “it’s sad, but I agree with you in what you say.” On the other hand, another user replied “No! We should not tell our daughters to marry well but to have a happy relationship”
WendyGallow’s response to so many criticisms was, among others, “There are many women who are financially dependent on men and feel unable to escape from a bad relationship. I’m not saying “get married just for money,” but I do know that money problems are a major cause of breakups, and that life is much easier when there is money. “
A mother in struggle
Far from criticizing this mother who generated so much controversy with her post, we should ask ourselves what may be happening in her life so that she comes to think of advising a daughter to marry someone wealthy. She described herself as an ‘ultra feminist’ and said ‘it’s hard for me to write this, but I’m also a single mom and I know all the hard work I do on my own salary.’
Probably, after so many years of fighting alone, she is going through a very hard time in which she is questioning many things.
Everyone is free to think what they want, but the fundamental thing for a more equitable society is to teach our daughters that they must provide their own money and that “marrying well” is nothing more and nothing less than marrying happily. I agree with this woman that when money is lacking is when things in marriage get difficult, but there is no guarantee that marrying a well-off man will lead to a happy marriage.
Yes, money makes things much easier, and it is probably also true that a couple who do not have financial problems manage their relationship in a better way, but it is not a guarantee. In a world where gender-based violence is increasing in many places, it is necessary to educate women in the true values to achieve a more equitable and just world.
But, although money can alleviate burdens, but it does not buy anyone’s happiness, so common things, principles and love (which are intangible things that no one can buy or sell), are the most necessary ingredients. for a relationship to succeed.