Relationships end when love ends. And if there is something that kills love in couples, it is disrespect.
A marriage joke says that the main cause of divorce is marriage, and yes, but no. It turns out that there must definitely be a relationship for there to be separation, but what leads to relationships ending has nothing to do with being married. Relationships end when love ends. And if there is something that kills love in couples, it is disrespect.
That moral value that should mediate relationships so that they occur in a harmonious way and that, like all things just and well founded, must be mutual. If not, it becomes a bond of submission and power of one over the other, and that in itself is already disrespectful.
That is the importance of knowing the difference between a healthy and equitable coexistence, or one that hurts the relationship, yes, but mainly to people. That is why it is so important to identify what type of relationship you have, to know if it is necessary for you as a couple to rethink the way you get along.
The 5 most common behaviors that fuel disrespect
1. Lack of self-control
Self-control is the ability to know how to put the parking brake at the right moment so that an argument does not get out of control. An explosive character is the main cause of these behaviors. Therefore, the solution is to seek to control anger and understand that you have no right to harm.
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I call disregard for the lack of empathy for our partners, leaving in their hands a responsibility that should be shared. The best way to eliminate it is to give an equal education at home.
Besides disrespect, it is also a form of violence because what is intended with it is to denigrate the other person. Shaming and ridiculing is the goal. Feelings of inferiority are what cause it. A person who humiliates is a person insecure of himself.
Relay: Signs of Intimate Partner Violence
4. Inappropriate words
Insults are in fact the most recurrent disrespect between couples. It is not only the most frequent, but the one that injures the most, because in all cases it is always increasing. These are given by an education devoid of restrictions and consequences.
5. Blackmail and manipulation
There are things that are simply not said. Believing that anything goes is the biggest mistake. In my case – for example – no matter how angry my husband and I are, we are forbidden to fall into the blackmail of separation. In the first place because it trivializes an overly momentous topic. Second, because what does it say about our relationship that in the event of any problem, the solution is to end it?
Reread: 10 signs your partner is manipulating you
Once you have identified that the problem exists, it is best to discuss it. Sometimes we don’t like certain things but we let them pass, but the truth is that the one who is silent grants. It’s important to make it clear what you aspire to in a relationship. However, this also has its joke: that you should speak it does not mean that you do it at the moment when tempers are heated. Sometimes surrendering is the best way to win the war.
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The ideal is to establish from the beginning what you are looking for, what you expect, what you offer and what you want. Regardless of whether you are him or her in the relationship, if there are situations that bother you, hurt you, offend you, you don’t have to allow it. Losing respect is often the first step to losing everything. It is your right to demand a change, but remember that change often begins with one.