Separated, widowed or divorced in search of a new love and do you have children? Well, read the following article and know the aspects that you should take care of before having a new love.
Many people who are divorced or widowed over time go through a unique dilemma: whether or not to give themselves a chance to have a new emotional relationship in their life. The reasons are many and justified, ranging from fear that your new partner compares you with your ex, to not getting along with his or her family and perhaps the one that many fear the most is that their new partner rejects their children. Regarding the latter, there are several aspects that I want to cover and make clear to you before you enter the formal aspect of a new romantic relationship.
It is important that before dating a new partner they are friends
One of the only ways to know someone in many of their intimate and personal aspects is through the trust that comes from the hand of a friendship. It is very difficult to maintain a false face for long, no matter how good a liar that person is. If she likes your children, or if she will accept them, it is something that will show itself over time, so do not rush: long courtships, solid marriages.
Before starting an emotional relationship, let your children know it
I believe that children have a sixth sense to identify when a person is not frank. On the other hand, it is normal for some children to feel jealous and not want to “share” their mother with someone other than their father. But with time and patience, if the person puts in a little effort, they will end up accepting it.
Meet your friends and even your family
Do you want to know if he is a good person and is comfortable with children? Do your best to get to know his family and his oldest and closest friends. It is not about investigating it, but it is certain that between chatter and chat you will discover details that you could not otherwise obtain. Also, if possible, observe how he behaves with his nephews and other children in his family.
Look closely at how you feel about your children
Even when a person is not speaking, they can show whether they like children or are willing to deal with the challenges that a teenager presents. To play it safe, ask your children how he is when he is with them and always observe very carefully if he enjoys the presence of your children, if he tolerates them patiently, or if he suffers only because of you.
Before joining your life to another person make sure that he at least appreciates your children
It is not that “whoever wants a relationship with a person accepts it with all that it brings.” If it is clear that she is not happy with them, or they with her, or even worse: if she asks you to send the children to live with your ex for a while, you better leave things alone. That’s more than a red alert to know that she will never love your children. They are your priority; you are responsible for them, and they should weigh more on your scale than you feel for this suitor.
When you are a father or mother, the act of restarting your love life after a love failure or widowhood is much more complicated, since the stability and well-being of your children must come first. This is not to say that everyone who approaches you for a relationship is a bad person, of course not. Some manage to accept children and even adopt them and set a good example for them; in some cases they are even called “dad” by children, but this requires time, observation, trust, and above all, love and honesty.
Lastly, don’t close yourself off to the possibility of love. Do it! You just have to be much more careful and the only way you will know if you are dating the right person is by risking a little of yourself; just don’t neglect your little ones. If you want to delve more into the subject, I invite you to read these articles:
Separated parents and new partners. How and when to involve your children Read also: What it means to marry a woman with children Or read this other: Reconstituted families. How to adjust to a teenager