In a desire for discipline that is more attached to a totalitarian system, adults treat young children like adults.
Becoming parents is not a grace. I do not want to be misunderstood: receiving that little human with your blood means more than an illusion and the enormous desire to show it off on social networks, since from his arrival, your attitudes and language will change completely.
I will tell you a little about my experience. I have always tried to see life with joy, sometimes too much, with many jokes, perhaps some more silly or dangerous than others. However, when I found out that my first son had already bought his bus ticket and was speeding down the highway of life, I had to adjust, by my own conviction, several screws of my runaway character.
You switch to imperative mode
Two months before my son arrived, his mother and I talked about the name we would give him and so on. It was an enriching debate, which enlightened me in a way that I did not think, of those times that you acquire knowledge without expecting it, it comes and gets into your head without saying “there you go” and it doesn’t hurt, at least at the moment. What do I mean? Among the maelstrom of names, some more tremendous than others, I said to the proud mother the following: «Say the name out loud, scold him, several times, imagine he did something wrong and you are going to get his attention, if it sounds nice the name in imperative, with that we stay ». The formula was also applied to the second baby and we were satisfied with their names, but just at that moment, we perhaps unconsciously passed into the terrible reality of having become our own parents.
They are children, children
I think then, that from that moment on you are no longer a «Homo Sapiens», you are a «Homo mandatus»: «Son, (put your child’s name here) do this, do that, remove, put, stop do”. Enough! Children are children and must be treated as such. I’m not saying they are stupid, on the contrary they are smarter than us, because even with their condition of innocence they have to mature 25 or more years in a single sentence to try to understand what the hell their parents want.
Tips for treating children, like children
If you make the effort not to look at them as little adults, but as the children that they are, I assure you that you yourself will discover a dimension of life that you have already forgotten. Therefore, below I share some tips that could help you achieve it:
1. Try to see life like them
Squat down, lie down on the ground, watch what they see from the closest possible angle. It is different to see the feet full of calluses of the parents from the ground, than from one meter and seventy centimeters away.
2. Take the time to repeat things
If you’re going to scold them, do it at the right time, not retroactively. Tell him what he did wrong and repeat it as many times as necessary, it does not matter that you start in the morning and finish almost at sleep.
3. Show interest in what they do
Work, pay bills, news, taxes, I’m going to explode! Lean on your children to know what they did in the day, think that their world is also complicated, so how do they make them laugh always?
4. Remember that you were a child too
Imagine if right now in your twenties, thirties, forties and somethings you are obsessive compulsive-anger, then surely as a child you were worse, for the simple reason that, at least in theory, you did not have to show a different face to bosses, neighbors or the who sells movie tickets. If necessary, ask your parents how much gray you got from them.
Finally, do not forget that adults have to work every day to record ourselves because, although there are people our age who find it difficult to understand what we mean, then why get angry when the little one does not do things exactly how we tell? Related to this topic, I invite you to read the following articles.
Adjust your expectations, be a better mother Children’s work is to play