Kim has the world’s attention 90% of the time, and when he doesn’t, he looks for it. Would you do this for attention?
Kim Kardashian has the world’s attention 90% of the time, and not always for good reasons, but she’s not the only one. Experts explain this behavior that inadvertently can ruin your life.
It is very likely that many of those who enter this article end up in love with Kim’s boots. Many will love their boots because they really like them, and others only because they are worn by a famous person they admire. The fact is, whatever the reaction to Kim’s boots, she is just one example of some behaviors that many of us have that we cannot live without receiving the attention of others.
The addiction to always having the attention of others is something that has always existed, but has increased since the creation of social media that gives us a camera, a microphone and a “pen” twenty-four hours a day and three hundred sixty-five days of the year.
Why we need to attract attention (some more than others, but we all do)
According to M. Farouk Radwan, in an article published in 2 Know Myself, childhood is what shapes us and the one that will impact how we handle our need for care in adulthood.
We are all going to need care to some extent throughout our lives, however, it is easy to become addicted and that is when we will lose control of what we want and what it is that actually makes us happy or not.
Lori Deschene, founder of an organization that helps people “let go of their pasts and live a life they love,” uses a well-known saying that “you validate other people’s lives with your attention.” She explains that we all seek that validation that comes from others, that validation comes when others notice us, or notice what we are doing.
read10 traits of social media addiction and 4 ways to overcome it
That validation can be positive or negative
If we put a picture of us on a family vacation in a nice place on our social walls, most of us look to our contacts to like it or leave us a nice comment. Both behaviors by our “audience” are considered positive.
However, bad comments or the lack of comments or “I like you”, for many are taken as negative attention.
Here the problem begins
Dr. Billi Gordon of Psychology Today explains that all human beings need to give and receive attention, this is a condition for our species to survive. However, trying to draw attention excessively and when they are not giving it to us is dangerous and these people are motivated by emotional despair.
Dr. Billi agrees with the aforementioned M. Farouk Radwan; The excessive need for attention is generated in the brain in response to some trauma caused by being neglected as a child, or by having all the attention in the world all the time.
The real problem
Today there are a growing number of people who only feel that their life is worthwhile when they publish it on Facebook and their audience validates it with comments or ‘likes’. Many people pay important figures for a trip or tickets to a concert and spend it taking photos for their social wall, forgetting to enjoy what they are doing.
How do we stop?
If you find yourself filling your photo walls all the time and checking to see who liked what you posted and that gives you satisfaction, you probably need to stop.
This addiction can reach extreme points. It is important that you maintain a connection with reality and that you minimize what you share on social networks. If spending a vacation with your family, or wearing a new dress, is worthless until you post it, it is good that you stop and think.
- Work with your emotional self
It is important that you reconnect with yourself, that you explore your soul, what actually makes you happy. Find some type of activity that helps you relax, that disconnects you from material things and that connects you more with the spiritual aspect.
Determine what actually makes you happy, and find it
Do not take your phone to all your activities, especially those you do with your family. This will prevent you from being aware of the phone, taking photos and wanting to publish everything.
Use social media wisely. You don’t have to share everything, and if there are things you want to share because you want your family to see what a great time they had, don’t do it until after you’ve already returned and enjoyed that time together.
Focus on others. One of the problems with seeking attention all the time is that we ourselves have all our attention only on ourselves. Spend time with others, and you will see how you will find balance.