It is a tragedy for a child to be the victim of any kind of abuse. Most never seek help until their world is falling apart. Making the decision to seek help will never be the easiest but …
One of the greatest tragedies that can happen to a child is being abused
. Unfortunately, the incidence is high and the cause is regularly a family member or close person. And although the abuse can be physical, sexual or mental, the consequences are, if not similar, then equally profound and devastating. Studies indicate that the majority of people who have been abused in some way move on, grow up and become adults. Except that they are adults who walk dragging the injured child inside, in such a way that the person who has suffered abuse keeps a secret that perhaps no one else knows, and tries to hide it from everyone, including herself. The problem is that sometimes she succeeds, and when the person hides the problem, erasing it even from her memory, it makes it even more difficult to help her.
Most people who have been abused don’t know what to do
, and some of us even think that we can live with the wounds, or worse, we come to think that there are no more wounds, after all we believe that we are over it. But it is essential to know that our body and our emotional stability will always witness what happened in the past, no matter how much we consciously deny it. One day it will be impossible to avoid it because our emotions in one way or another tend to come to the fore, consciously or unconsciously, either in the form of depression, anxiety or contained anger. That is when we will know that our body is speaking to us from the subconscious past. It is time to face it and overcome it once and for all. You deserve it, each affected person deserves it, and even more important: your child deserves it when he has been the one who has been hurt.
In matters of emotional healing, things will always seem to feel worse before they start to feel better. It is convenient to seek professional help, and when one finally accepts that this happened to us, all those emotions that we wanted to drown come to the fore. For a moment we tangibly feel that we are drowning and that all these emotions will make us explode, but patience: no emotion will make you explode. This only indicates that progress is on the way and like an iceberg you are discovering everything that was under the sea to one day come out completely afloat. This stage is crucial, do not stop going with your professional of choice, do not stop exercising and enjoying your favorite hobbies, do not stop talking with family members who are safe and are a source of support, do not stop writing what you feel , do not stop being present even if it is difficult. Trust me this stage will not last forever.
When the most difficult stage softens, so to speak, since none of this is easy, comes the stage of many discoveries, changing the way you think about yourself and others. One of the first great blessings you will feel is the relief of knowing the main thing: that none of this was your fault, that you did not cause it, which is a lie that we had told ourselves and it hurts us deeply. Little by little you will see yourself with eyes of mercy and you will see the wonderful person in front of your eyes, a survivor despite going through such a difficult experience. When you see yourself as an adult with mercy, it will be inevitable that you do not see the child within you and do not seek to care for and love him; after all you are no longer a child and this time you will do everything possible to take care of him. Shortly after, the air you breathe will be purer, cleaner, and although there will be days that will still be difficult, the volcano within you will no longer explode: you have dealt with it, and you have won.
Making the decision to heal will be one of the most difficult decisions but at the same time one of the most important that you make. All the progress you make will impact not only you personally, but generations to come. You will become what we professionals call the “generational transition character”, which is nothing less than the person who decides that from then on abuse will no longer have a place in that lineage; He is the person who absorbs the mistakes of others to change himself and the future of his own family, he is the one who suffers in the present so that future generations do not, and this generational transition character can be nothing more and nothing less than you. Yes, it is true, I am aware that I am not really giving you any practical solutions, but at least I can give you this certainty: that one can deal with those personal demons of the past, and be victorious.