The autonomy of a child is not something that is resolved from one moment to another. Find out in this article if it is normal for your child to be so attached to you.
The autonomy of a child is not something that is resolved from one moment to another. It is a gradual process accompanied by various factors that change over time. Many parents are anxious for their child to achieve some autonomy. Find out in this article if it is normal for your child to be so attached to you.
Some parents complain that their baby is not with anyone in the family and that he only feels safe in the arms of his mother. It is also normal to see some children who do not want to sleep alone or find it difficult to gain confidence in an unfamiliar environment. Relax, it is completely natural. We live in a detached society where children’s times are not respected and their emotional development is rushed.
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Attachment theory is one that describes the dynamics of relationships between human beings. Its most important principle states that a newborn needs to develop a relationship with a primary caregiver for normal social and emotional development to occur.
In humans this takes months and even years. There are many preponderant factors in the autonomy of the child, but without a doubt the composition of her personality, genetics, the way of upbringing and the environment itself, will determine a healthy autonomy, which to be healthy must be progressive and respectful of her. natural times.
Some of these traits will help you identify how normal it is for your child to be attached to you:
1. He doesn’t want to go with anyone
Until approximately 2 years of age, it is normal for a child to feel an attachment to their caregivers, more precisely to their mother and father. They are the basis of your existence; Mom and Dad are their solid foundation and through which they will build their own personality.
Forcing them to go with someone they don’t want detracts from them and makes them feel insecure. The child’s own safety is something that is achieved over time and is emphasized with maturity. If you have a baby under 1 year old and you expect him to go arm in arm with everyone, don’t be surprised if he breaks into tears all of a sudden. Take advantage and enjoy this moment with your baby or your child; for him you are his world.
2. In social gatherings, he is quiet and shy.
There are children more introverted than others. And that is also normal and there is nothing wrong with it. The more you force an introverted child to socialize and be personable and likeable, the more they will back off.
3. Is distressed when separated from mom or dad
A child under the age of 2 does not manage time limits. For him 15 minutes can be two hours, and if he sees that you are leaving or you are no longer there, he does not have the cognitive capacity to understand that you will return soon; for him you simply are not. Don’t be angry, don’t challenge him, or let others tell him that he “has mastitis.” Separation anxiety begins around the eighth month of life and continues for a long time to come.
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4. You don’t want to sleep in your room
Indeed, sleeping in company is a trait in some mammal herds. Human beings possess the reasoning and the value of culture that guides us in our anthropological behavior, so as the child grows up we already think about putting her in her own room.
However, for many families this represents endless nighttime awakenings. If your child comes on tiptoe in the middle of the night and sneaks into mom and dad’s bed, this is a completely normal act. It is in each family to have the tools to help the child go through that great change that sleeping alone in his room represents. Not to despair, because nobody sleeps in their parents’ bed until they are 20 years old. And some pampering in bed with mom and dad before going to their nursery, they never hurt.
To say that we want independent children ahead of time is like trying to pluck an unripe fruit from a tree. To grow up healthy and emotionally safe, we must be there as parents and provide them with unconditional support that will lead to full and mature autonomy.