Returning to work after the maternity period can be difficult for some mothers, as it creates mixed feelings, ranging from missing work to fear of leaving the baby and losing valuable time with them.
About the end of the rest period for my motherhood, my life was in a mess: I was just beginning to learn how to take care of a baby that totally depended on me, the sleepless nights were at their point, the hormones were out of control, I was recovering from the cesarean section, our routine as a totally lost couple, and an accumulation of feelings and complicated situations, that if you are going through this you know very well what I mean; or if you are about to live it, don’t worry, it is an equation that is difficult to solve but not impossible.
Taking into account the terrain on which I was standing, and that I just mentioned in its general features, in addition to having one foot in the door to go back to work, it was incredible how many mixed feelings I had during the week before my day zero. Many working mothers describe it with one word: guilt. However, I cannot classify it with just one adjective: there are so many feelings that encompassing them all in one word makes the expression incomplete.
I felt angry because my financial situation did not allow me to stop working for at least a time; impotence, for not being able to change my situation, also guilt and a lot, for leaving my baby in the care of someone else and, finally, I experienced a lot of sadness, because I did not want to miss a second of my baby’s life, because the kids grow up so fast! and I wanted to be the first to see what was going on. Despite all the negatives, I also wanted to go back to my working life. Contradictory, right?
On the other hand, a friend lost her job and spent months looking for another, and her child is also a baby. I remember how I encouraged her to enjoy her baby, since it was what I wanted the most, and in the end, when she found a new job, those feelings I describe came to her, but that was what she wanted. You will say, however, that for a new mother it is difficult to want to fulfill herself as a person and, at the same time, fulfill as the best mother and as a wife as well. All of this undoubtedly generates opposite feelings.
For all this I would like to share with you the reasons that motivated me to get up every day to go to work after becoming a mother; It was not easy, and it took a few months to adapt to my new life, but it is possible and very satisfying:
1. If you are part or all of your family’s support,
feel proud to combine the task of maintaining a home and taking care of it at the same time, because it is not easy and it takes a great deal of organization and effort on the part of all members of the family nucleus.
2. Be certain that by your example you are teaching your baby a great lesson
Life is not easy and you have to work hard to get what you want. Later, you can teach him the true value of money, the perseverance and discipline that are required to make dreams come true.
3. There is nothing wrong with enjoying your work
On the contrary, consider that you already had it before all these changes took place; it is part of your previous life, and it is even a normal matter that you miss it.
4. Now, if you don’t like your work or maybe your schedules are demanding, don’t be discouraged, on your days off and breaks
provide your baby with quality time
; this time is worth more than any clean house, a life full of comforts or other material things.
5. On those days when you feel like you can’t take it anymore and want to throw in the towel,
unburden yourself with a very trustworthy person
; my husband was a pillar in the process and when he was busy with his activities, I talked a lot with a friend, since our situation was similar and we could understand and support each other.
6. And, above all, don’t forget:
Before being a mom, you are a complete person, who needs balance in your life
. Wanting to develop in the workplace does not make you a bad mother, perhaps it implies giving you a lot of time and that, for the same reason, you do not see your little one as you would like, but, remember, if that makes you happy, at the same time, and Rest assured, you make your family happy. Why? How? You ask. It is easy! Because you become a complete, balanced, satisfied person, and all of that will be absorbed by your baby from you. Do you want a plus? Children learn by example, right? Perfect! You are setting an excellent example for them when they grow up.
The last thing that I have left to advise you is that you find someone you can trust to take care of your most precious treasure. Believe me that decision removes half of the feelings accumulated when returning to work.