Many times we do it without realizing it. Keep being a good mother avoiding these mistakes.
We all try to do our best when educating and caring for our children, however, none is exempt from making these 6 mistakes that make us a bad mother, and in most cases, we have not even realized it .
Children do not come with a user manual, and unfortunately, we did not bring it either when we made mothers from the women who gave us life. We carry the good and bad of our upbringing and we do what we can, however, “doing the best we can” does not relieve us of the responsibility we have to be better for our little ones.
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1. Your children are not your priority
This topic has been the point of discussion for many. Who should go first, your kids or your husband? Many dress it up in different colors and justify why the husband should come first, but the truth is, your kids should always come first.
Here we are talking about those decisions that can endanger the happiness of your children, and not about the trivial things in life. If preferring your husband means denying your children, their rights and their happiness, then you are choosing wrong.
The stark truth is that a mother should never have to choose between the happiness or well-being of her husband and that of her children, because they should never compete. A good father and husband would never put his wife and mother of his children in a tremendous dilemma, and if you are with someone who makes you choose, you are probably with the wrong person.
2. You know that you are not perfect as a mother and it is your reason for not trying to improve
There are women who torment themselves with the reality that they cannot be the perfect mother (and that is also wrong), while there are others who know that they are not perfect and that they never will be (no one can achieve perfection as long as we are still human) and They have decided that they do not care about everything and that they do not have to try to improve or improve themselves.
These mothers do things that they know are wrong, but they have decided that since perfection is not something they can achieve, they do not have to try to improve themselves and they become the most mediocre mothers there is.
The opposite, are the mothers who even when they know that they will never be perfect, they also know that there are thousands of things that can be improved.
3. You care more about what others think than what your children really need from you
I grew up as one of the shyest girls I have ever met; my mother knew it, and she didn’t mind doing whatever it took to help me.
While the other children went to school alone, since I was little I had a panic to do it, going to school every day, for me it was a great challenge. Fortunately, my mom could see it and it never made me feel different or uncomfortable about the way I am. From the age of 5 to 16, she accompanied me to school every day.
I listened to my uncles criticizing her and telling her that she had to let me do it alone; They told her how others criticized her, but she never cared. She knew that I needed him and that was enough. More than 20 years have passed since that time, I don’t remember what it is to be shy; I have been on television programs, I dance tango professionally in front of hundreds of people, I have studied law, and not a day goes by without me thanking my mother for having the ability to see what I needed, for having put what that others said aside and for having helped me to be who I am.
Follow your motherly instincts and put what others have to say, totally aside.
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4. When you physically punish your children because it is easier than taking the time to talk to them
Children are as human beings as adults and have the ability to understand the words that come out of our mouths.
James Kimmel, a pediatric psychologist and writer, comments that he never punished his children, physically or emotionally, and that just as there are millions of people in the world who can say they were beaten by their parents and yet they are good people and they are happy; your children and grandchildren can today say that they were never punished and that they are successful and happy people.
He explains an important and big difference that every parent should know: “Punishing someone for the temporary loss of control of our emotions is not a punishment, it is a form of violence. A punishment is a controlled, conscious and deliberately planned act.
Punishments were “invented” by humans to generate control through fear, but we have evolved enough not to do this to our children. Words spoken with love go much further than the scars on their bodies.
5. Rebellious Mothers Without a Cause
They are those who know that what they are doing is wrong, because they have read it, they have been told, because no one would do something like that, however, they decide to do it just to go against the current.
You are a good mother when:
Your children come first (because no one who says they love you would ask you otherwise), when you continually try to improve without excusing yourself in your own upbringing or in what your parents did wrong, when what matters most to you is the happiness and needs of your children without what others say has weight, when you speak instead of hitting, and when you use the good example of other mothers as a source of inspiration.