Think carefully before promising something, because promises determine the confidence of those around you.
Without fear of being wrong, all of us at some point in life have promised something to someone in order to gain trust and make that person feel calm and happy. We promise our partner, our children, our co-workers, our loved ones. We go through life making promises that we may never actually fulfill, which casts doubt on our word and above all causes serious conflicts in our relationships with others.
People who never comply are labeled liars, undesirables, and untrustworthy, and that drives anyone away. For this reason, we must know how to set a limit when promising and do everything possible to comply, since it will not only affect us socially but also affect our self-esteem, security and confidence.
We promise that coffee with the friends, the gift to calm the crying of the children, we promise a trip or lower the moon and the stars in order to obtain a yes from the person we are interested in. You promise to change a wrong behavior or action that has caused harm to those you love; in short, it is promised and promised with the simple fact of having good intentions and good will that something happens in the future.
Perhaps promising can be an act of good faith, helping us to empathize and be better people every day. However, it is also an act that puts our credibility at risk. That is why we must learn that promising must be an act that can be fulfilled.
The problem is that many times it is promised without thinking about the priorities or the time that is required to fulfill that. We fill our own schedule with commitments to put off, perhaps because of the fear of changing or making mistakes again; such as a partner who was unfaithful.
The writer Lesslie Polynesia, In his book “Three promises” he affirms that these can be changed by destiny and life plans, although a person wants to promise something, it often happens that life has another path that will prevent him from fulfilling.
How to make promises a reality
1 Be realistic
You can promise a child a chocolate to fulfill his school obligations or make a call to your partner; Those promises can be easy to keep since they don’t require much effort or dedication. The idea is that when you make a promise, it is as realistic as possible, something that you can do immediately and without delaying so long.
That way, your word will always be listened to and respected, since others will know that what you say will always have a foundation.
2 What limits you
You want to earn the position you want in the company you work for, buy a car, go on a trip with your family; you can promise a thousand things to yourself and others in order to motivate yourself toto reach your dreams. However, the problem lies in the ideals or limitations that you have in the present, which will prevent you from fulfilling your promises.
I do not mean that it is impossible to fulfill your dreams, the problem is that sometimes we have to think about our true limitations or impediments that cause us to fail the promises. For example; You promise to buy a house for your wife but you are actually starting to work on your own business, or you want to promise to decorate your room, but you don’t have the time to do it.
Therefore, it is important to know your limitations, as well as the abilities, gifts and virtues that you have, since if you promise something, this promise will be easier to make and it will be less likely to fail.
Read also: The importance of teaching our children to keep their promises
3 Learn to say no
On many occasions the people we love or close to us force us to promise something that we don’t really want; therefore it is essential to learn to say “no”. That will be more valid and will generate less conflict with others.
It is difficult to stop promising when a person asks for our help, since in reality we know that someone turned to us because they fully trust. You must learn to say that you “cannot” accomplish something that is not within your reach or that could create problems in your daily activities, or that puts your own peace of mind, stability or security at risk.
For example: the wife who makes her spouse promise that she will stop talking to her parents, because she does not like them, or stops going out with her friends because she distrusts them, assuring that they are a bad influence on her partner .
4 not a game
All promises are important, you should not promise and promise things just to please someone. When you promise, do so with the conviction that it is something that will make you 100 percent committed and that it has value to the people around you.
I mean, do n’t spend your life promising things you won’t keep, without having any regrets; on the contrary, never take your words and promises lightly, make them a priority and strive to keep them.
5 Think it through
Take the time to think through your promises; what you can offer in exchange that is immediately and does not take you long to specify your words or deeds. When your promises are thought out carefully and strategically to carry them out in a short time, you will be a person who projects more confidence, so your relationships with others will be more lasting and very close; which will lead you to become an honest, committed and respected person.
So now you know, think before you speak and promise what you cannot deliver. Promises can be good faith actions that will help you strive for something, or they can become words that destroy your hard-earned trust. Promise and deliver!