What are we parents doing today so that our children do not value our effort?
Susana has two jobs. Her husband, two others. They have been with great financial debts for four years and they try to help their family float in the best possible way. Her children, all teenagers, have a bad attitude.
They do not approach their parents to help them, they constantly ask and demand that they let them out, they buy and spend as before, and they keep bitterness in their hearts, which translates into constant demands between them, to see who will get permission to use the car first, or who deserves more financial support to start their college courses.
Susana and her husband get very frustrated. The stress they undergo is exhausting. Leaving the office to get home gives them a stomachache, because the home environment feels like a minefield. Worst? They both agree that their children are ungrateful, rude, and have a bad attitude.
These parents do not understand the reasons behind this family dynamic, and sometimes they go home with the “drawn sword”, ready to act as trainers to their children, who they perceive as wild lions who only want to sink their teeth.
Everything that happens at home owes its explanation to the dynamics that have been created
When Susana unburdens herself with her friends, she receives some consolation and then returns to the fierce struggle with her husband and children, to “not be defeated” or “submit” to the bad treatment she perceives, or at least that is what she thinks . The same is true of her husband. Each one believes that it does what it can, and in the face of the avalanche of problems, attacks and claims, the only thing they can do is avoid them.
What Susana and her husband have not wanted to see is that everything that happens in your home is the result of the dynamic that you have created between its. At some point, she and her husband allowed the seeds of the attitudes that worry them so much today. Well says a phrase: “be careful with the behaviors you tolerate, you are telling the other how to treat you.”
It’s okay to be tired, but we shouldn’t give up
This overwhelmed woman and her husband feel that their debts are drowning them and they dedicate their energies to get out of it. «At work, at least, I receive recognition and results«, Is the justification that Susana’s husband sometimes comments on. She understands. After so many years of scarcity, when you get home you just want to disconnect. It is understandable, but how much we need to understand this! It is not a justifiable attitude.
It is normal to feel tired. But it is our responsibility as adults to rest, vary activities and restart, every hour, every day and every week. Today we adults live in a very complicated world, and we are overwhelmed by political, economic, health, social and insecurity problems. But our life cannot end there.
Prayer, exercise, meditation and artistic or recreational activities will be our allies to obtain relaxation and a change of air that helps us fight for the most valuable thing we have: our family.
Our family: our treasure
After all, what or who do we want this house for that we have so much work to support? For whom do we cook daily at least three times a day? For our family! Physical food and space to move are important, butwe must not forget spiritual food, family connection, healthy life, fun together, growth.
Do you have problems at home with your husband, your parents or your children? Let me tell you something: you are normal. We all have them, it is part of our nature fallen by sin, by the natural selfishness that we try to overcome every day to seek the good and develop virtue.Today is the time to get to work and unravel what happens in our family relationships, to heal them.
Healing our family relationships will be the source of the full happiness that we long for. Now this is easy to read, but how do you “heal” family relationships? Let’s reflect together, here I share more ideas.
The great damage produced by the phrase “it’s your fault”
Definitely with the guilt, nothing is cured. It is important to detect negative behaviors in each member of the family. Susana would notice that her children have a negative attitude, resentment and a bad attitude. Keeping this information in mind will make immense progress.
This tormented wife would receive little if she begins to blame her husband or children. What should you do then? Unite, love, forgive, reconcile, replenish, seek peace.
Yes, you are overwhelmed by problems. Maybe you doubt: pray? Kneel or sit down to pray in front of God when what I have in front of me feels like water that rises and rises and threatens to drown me? Yes! Pray! Have faith. God loves you, accompanies you. He has been watching how you hurt for your family, for your fractured relationships, and he has waited patiently for you to come to his lap.
Spend several minutes a day filling yourself with strength by entrusting to the Almighty everything that troubles your heart. You will see how you will come out strongly serene.
Read also: A good mother always prays for her children
Stop the storm and watch
What if in the face of so many situations that drive you crazy, you always decide to breathe, meditate and don’t react negatively? It would be a good start: stop adding fuel to the fire. When something happens that takes away your peace, don’t complicate it any more; stand aside, watch. You will see that a person at home who avoids confrontations will change everything.
Make up your mind and start the change
You have taken Jesus by the hand, who raises the dead, heals the sick, and gives sight and hearing to the blind and deaf. Good!. You have decided not to fight in the face of the crisis. Congratulations! The next step is to be an element of union and harmony. It is difficult, but you can achieve it, I share the steps with a piece of a prayer from Saint Teresa of Calcutta, the Albanian nun who loved the poorest of the poor in India:
“People are unreasonable, inconsistent and selfish, love them anyway (…) the good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow, do good anyway (…) give the world the best they have and they will beat you in spite of it, give the world the best you got anyway”.
Of loving and serving, you will never regret it. Do it, and you will see how everything begins to change. God bless you!