Love is deeper than you can imagine, it means letting go of the desire to feel good at all costs and making way for other behaviors that might seem like a sacrifice, but are actually a show of love for your spouse.
“I did not marry my husband’s family,” is an argument that some women often use to justify in a certain way bad relationships or the distance that they maintain with their husband’s family. It is a reality that when the couple gets married they usually create their own space, independent of the relatives of both. However, in my concept, the woman, in a certain way, has to establish a strong family bond, not only with the man she has chosen as husband, but also with his nuclear family; ie parents, siblings, nephews and so on. And vice versa the husband with her family.
The importance of good relationships with your husband’s family
A man and his family stop being strangers to you and become your family, the day you decide to say yes in front of the altar. But beyond a commitment, the importance of having a good relationship with your new family is to transform that obligation into a feeling, and that feeling is part of the same love you have for your husband. Loving him implies in all its dimensions loving what he is and what he loves.
Bad relationships with the husband or wife’s family account for many estrangements, problems that directly affect the couple, and even separations and divorces. One of the most popular arguments is that family members are more involved than necessary and this is obviously annoying. There is no doubt that in many cases it is true. However, I would like to show you another way of looking at things and help you with some suggestions to manage the relationship more assertively, even improve it if things are not going well and even if it seems utopian, think about loving them, which would be a nice possibility:
People only come to the true understanding of many things when we face them personally. For example, being parents, only from the day we become parents and grow in that process, do we understand our behavior to a great extent. Maybe the day you become a mother-in-law, you will understand yours a little. But before that happens, analyze things and try to understand the way of acting and thinking of your partner’s family so that the time you spend with them is not a test or a sacrifice. Surely there will be things that you will not share, but if you take your part and are empathetic, you will have more patience and coexistence will be less difficult.
In this article you will find the importance of being empathetic in marriage: A simple story that can change your marriage
Bad intentions or real concern?
Now, it is typical to believe that relatives get involved with bad intentions when giving opinions or suggesting things that no one has asked them. But if you change the perspective and think that perhaps it is just a sincere concern for the welfare of your husband, you will notice that what there is is a meeting point because both you and they want and want the best for him. Receive advice and suggestions without resistance and at the end you make the decision that you consider appropriate for your home, without the need to enter into disagreements.
Boundaries are healthy in all types of relationships and in this one in particular they are essential. There is no need to be explicit, just one behavior is enough to determine those limits. Both must be prudent with their own life, with their purposes, with their problems and with their decisions. Understanding by prudence that there are things that only concern the two of you and that no one else can comment on it. To achieve this they must be very reserved.
Speak well of your husband’s family
There are things that must necessarily be sincere in order to be authentic, and if you are not born to say anything good, it is better to remain silent. Life in marriage requires efforts like this: be respectful of what the other loves, and in this case it is your family. Even if you have many reasons to complain and not speak positively of her family, always try to be considerate of your husband’s feelings. Nobody likes being around someone who criticizes the people you love when the opportunity presents itself.
Be special and learn to love them
When we love someone their happiness is ours. How nice it would be if one day you could shed your predispositions and simply surprise your husband with a cute detail for her family. How about inviting her parents to dinner or doing something special for them? Or for her siblings or for the people who are important and meaningful to her.
Love is deeper than you can imagine, it means putting aside the desire to feel good at all costs, the desire not to want to bother you in any way and to open the way to other behaviors that could seem like a sacrifice, but that in They are actually a latent display of the love and respect you feel for your husband.
Finally, I leave you an article in case you need to reestablish the relationship with your parents. Do you have resentment towards your parents? Then read this