I Can’t Love Because I Don’t Value Myself

The idea is that the women who are on this list reflect on why they are not able to value themselves and go in search of true happiness. Not valuing and loving yourself makes it impossible to love.

On some occasions, I have seen similar scenes among young people on the street: the girl carries the diaper bag to one side and carries her baby with the other arm, while the husband simply carries her to make her walk faster. Another quite frequent scene is seeing adult couples in a car, in a lonely place, preferably at night, which arouses suspicion that it is a husband and wife, because if they were, they would not have to be startled every time what’s up somebody

Which leads to a question: if they are not comfortable with their partner, why continue with her? Isn’t it healthier and more honest (for both) to conclude that union? Which leads us to consider the main question: What are the main reasons that people have for not separating from their partner, even if they are aware that the relationship is not working?

1. Fear of becoming a “spinster”

This is the main fear of women, as well as the force that drives them to marry the first one who crosses them. Some resort to pregnancy before marriage, thinking that it is the best way to “tie” them. Others give in to all the whims of their boyfriend, become submissive or show them that they are the perfect women for them, even if it has nothing to do with her real way of being.

2. Custom

Daily coexistence usually crosses a very narrow line where you can have love on one side and habit on the other, which often causes the feeling to be confused even though there is no happiness.

3. “He is the father of my children”

This common phrase is used to put the children as a pretext, to do nothing for herself. These women obviously do not really love their children as they say, because moms who really love them look for a way to be happy to project it on their children.

4. Because of the «what will they say»

This concern still persists in our times. Many times it is not the concern of those concerned, but of parents or family, and even of friends themselves.

5. Fear of failure

For many people the fact that their marriage or whatever they do does not have the expected results, they take it as a personal failure, period. They don’t know how to turn a mistake into learning and move on.

6. Admiration

Admiration for our partner is usually a factor that is included in the infatuation that can be felt, but it is not the primary element to love a person. This happens most often in teacher-student relationships or youth-adult relationships.

7. Dependency

Here the person who has the role of dependent submits and idealizes his partner, which affects him mentally and physically. Although the dependent is aware of what is affecting him, he prefers to endure it rather than separate. They are resistant to infidelity and abuse.

8. Low self-esteem

There are individuals who perhaps because of their life history (violence, abuse) tend to have low self-esteem. By not being treated in advance, the evil grows without being able to overcome it and they look at people who know how to take advantage of it. We can see this when they are afraid to express their opinion, and they have a great need to be accepted by others, so they lie a lot and believe that people are even above themselves.

9. Insecurity

There is a huge fear that the partner will leave her for any circumstance and she lives in constant fear. For this reason, a need is created to receive attention from the couple. There is jealousy and distrust towards anyone.

10. “Better bad for being known than good for knowing”

There are many people who prefer to be in a comfort zone, so they settle for the person who “chose” them, even if they do not feel true love for them. They are not interested in taking risks, why, if they already have a partner?

If you identified with any of these ten points, think how much are you worth to yourself? How much will it help you not to put an end to this situation? If you can, discuss it with your partner: it is possible to find a remedy to solve it or seek help so that the situation improves and changes. Otherwise, think that sooner or later it can bring as a consequence: frustration, infidelity, unhappiness with oneself and towards the children, and eternal anger with the partner.

You only have one life, and you have to live with intensity and quality. Remember: love yourself, so that you can love others.

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