If your children show they do not understand the best way to behave and do not understand the consequences of their actions, it is time for you to get to work.
“My children do what they want”, “They don’t obey me”; These couple of phrases are quite common in parents who did not know how to educate their children, who did not set limits either for fear of damaging their self-esteem or because no one gave them guidance on how to do it.
It is a daily scene to see many children in the street who throw tantrums at their parents to obtain any treat such as a candy, a toy or simply because they want to spend more time on the street and who, given their attitude, receive despair from them . I don’t just mean when they are little, but in general. There are adolescents and young people who have no limits in their actions and the opinion of parents or any adult about their behavior is unimportant.
Parents think that education takes place in school, but in reality they are wrong, because despite the fact that teachers establish certain rules within the classroom, parents should reinforce this knowledge and instruction in order to ensure consistency of what they do both outside and inside the home.
A guide for parents in which it is detailed how to put limits on children and so that they know how to obey, as such it does not exist; what there are are experiences, anecdotes, lessons and countless tips that you can apply at home depending on the age of your children. Read and put these six examples into practice:
1. Time out
One of the ways many schools apply is “time out”: if a child engages in behavior that is not approved, he is isolated in any part of the room (he can be sitting or standing) for a few minutes; she is told that she is in “time out” and is explained why. In the same way you can act with your children at home: when they have an inappropriate attitude put them in “time out” in a corner of their room. This will help them identify good and bad actions and modify challenging or aggressive behavior.
Reread: Educa not hurt: the blows are not the solution.
Another common way is to teach them about causes and consequences: every action, whether positive or negative, has consequences. Teach your children about them and immediately correct their bad behavior; An example is that if one of them throws the plate full of food, they will have to clean up right away.
It is important to remember that you only have to give one instruction at a time, keep it clear and brief, do not saturate your children with a lot of information, give them the necessary time to do what is ordered and continue. Take into account rewarding and recognizing their good actions, as well as sanctioning or repressing those that have to change.
Reread: 5 tools to make your children complex.
3. The example drags
Parents should establish rules and regulations at home, teach their children to respect them (example is the best formula). You have to maintain authority from the perspective of your children, so do not be afraid to order and say “no”, and when you think they have not obeyed you immediately sanction that attitude.
4. Hormones take part
During adolescence there are many factors that parents cannot control or understand due to the hormonal development of their children, and these changes can lead to a life of constant disagreements because they will think that nobody understands them and that everyone is against them for any reason or circumstance.
5. Wellness ahead
For children to obey, they must first understand that what their parents tell them is only for their welfare. In this sense, excellent communication with them is essential: when giving orders you must be clear, precise and detailed, explain what you expect and what they will find of benefit for their life if they carry out the order with precision.
6. You dictate the rules of the game
Give the reasons why you feel they do not obey you, avoid challenging their opinions and both reach a peaceful and advantageous solution. Do not fall into the game of yelling or disrespecting him; On the contrary, you just have to be clear with the message you want to convey and highlight the consequences of any action.
Relee: Does your child deserve punishment? Then this is for you.
Setting limits for children should be a constant teaching, as they must understand the reasons for their actions. With patience and working together at home and at school, your children will better assimilate their actions and the consequences of bad behavior.