Adolescence is that chaotic stage that every young person must go through and overcome to become an adult, is it possible to maintain a good relationship with our children at this age?
Being a teenager is almost synonymous with becoming rebellious and being against all the rules that parents set; Therefore, maintaining an honest, communicative and loving relationship is not among the plans of future adults. I remember that in my adolescence I completely stopped talking to my mother; I just trusted my friends, I would sneak out and everything bothered me. It was a short time before I went to live with my father, who did not allow me to maintain those attitudes, but was adamant in building a relationship of trust between us.
Many parents are dedicated to imposing our rules from the time our children are small, without leaving them the necessary space to make their own decisions or make mistakes, but when the process of maturing begins, we bombard them with requirements that they need to meet to become adults. responsible and feel overwhelmed when having to assume such a sudden change in their thinking, acting and facing daily situations.
If you currently have a teenage son or daughter and you want the relationship between you to be better every day, apply these simple tips and you will see how quickly the results are shown.
1. Do not impose yourself
Especially as a mother. It is time for our children to begin to form their own opinion and we must trust that we have given them all the necessary values for this. It starts with giving her freedom with something simple like choosing her dress or school snack. Let her choose her own circle of friends.
The rebellious teenager seeks to be loved
2. Give “The minute of confidence”
I remember that a school teacher gave us “a minute of confidence” so that each one would tell him what he thought about his class, with respect and without negative consequences. You too can give your children that instance, where everything they say will be taken in stride (remember to take a deep breath and count to a thousand).
Tips for talking with teenagers without going crazy trying
3. Love is synonymous with education
At this age they begin to explore in the sexual sphere, so one of the important issues to address will be this. Find the right time to talk with them and clarify your doubts. Be the one who gives them the information and not their friends or the internet, since many times their values will not coincide with yours.
4. Be her mother and not her private detective
The worst mistake that parents make is to suppose that we will know more about the lives of our children if we investigate on their cell phones, computers or life diaries, instead of even trying to generate a conversation “in short order” with them. If you want to know what your children do, ask them.
5. Don’t close the door
Sometimes, in an argument, we close the doors of the conversation when the topic at hand is not to our liking, so we prefer to “ignore it.” Don’t let it be your case or you will see your children find answers in the wrong places.
6. The 3 «C»
Communication, trust and calm. Every time you start a conversation, allow it to express itself with total honesty, try not to interrupt and seek that your answers are cold, although sometimes it deserves the shout, avoid it.
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7. Love at a thousand an hour
There is a time in life when children – with very rare exceptions – withdraw from their parents to seek affection in their friends, love each other and swear to be friends forever, but the truth is that that does not always work. The only eternal and unconditional love is from parents to their children. Show him that no matter what happens, you will always be there to give him your support and love.
Young people just want to know that they have the right to make mistakes and that you will still be with them to help them get up. Give them their space, but remind them to respect your rules. A good relationship is based on love, trust and honesty to say things.