Do you want to discover the liberating magic of forgiveness? Read this article and you will find it.
Much is said about forgiveness. But talking about it is not the same as doing it. Forgiveness is actually very difficult. If you are one of those people who find it difficult to forgive, no matter how hard you try, you will agree that forgiving requires a lot of will, but also love for your neighbor, as well as love for yourself. Yes: forgiving, in the long run, heals your life.
Forgiveness is necessary when we have been the object of betrayal; The sad thing about it is that it always comes from someone you care for. But it is important to know the following: feeling resentment towards a loved one ties us in chains of bitterness and prevents us from having peace. To re-find that peace and live in harmony with our loved ones it is necessary to forgive or forget. If at some point you have said that you forgive but do not forget and every day you insist on remembering the situation that hurt you, you are not going anywhere.
A history of forgiveness
I know a woman who when she was little did not have a good relationship with her father. He, too authoritarian to appreciate what his little daughter did, believed that she should be punished for any mistake, no matter how insignificant. She grew up full of fear and resentment towards her father or any figure that for her represented authority. It wasn’t that her father didn’t love him, just that he had hurt and humiliated her a lot throughout her childhood, so much so that every time she was close to him she trembled and didn’t feel strong enough to say anything to him for fear of being reprimanded.
It was almost 24 years of her life under the fear and anger she felt towards her father, until one day she confronted him. He knew that he would not be able to endure his humiliation and mistreatment for much longer, he was filled with courage, in few and forceful words he expressed everything he thought of him and how he made her feel, before which his father kept silent and walked away of her without looking at her. She confessed to me that she had felt liberated, but that what had happened hurt her and she feared that she had caused serious problems for her mother and her brothers.
As he later told me, it took three months and a little tragedy for the relationship between them to be resumed. To her surprise, her father’s attitude had changed, and it changed much more as the days passed. She no longer remembers the last time her father looked at her with contempt, much less how he made her feel. Today, she has the relationship that she always dreamed of having with her dad, one of trust, love and respect.
What does it mean to forgive ?
Forgiveness without learning, without wanting to change our attitude, without motivating ourselves to learn, far from being a situation that liberates us, will lead us to make the same mistakes over and over again. An illustration that I found recently reveals in a few words how magical the act of forgiveness can be: “More than forgetting, forgiving is learning, letting go and moving on.”
Forgiveness is implicit in those events that took place to unite father and daughter in a filial love relationship that should never have been negative. She was able to forgive and forget all the events in her past life that filled her with pain; He also learned to express what he felt without hurting, and also released all the negative to be happy with his father, and moved on with his life. That change in their relationship also did its thing in relation to their other relatives, which made them more united and understanding, especially loving and respectful of their differences.
Yes, forgiveness is an act of love and will. If you don’t feel like you can forgive, you won’t be able to; But as she told me: “If I can forgive, anyone can do it.”