The anxious temperament of parents predisposes their children to suffer from anxiety and depressive disorders in the future. Come on, you have time to heal!
The two great diseases of our time are depression and anxiety. A well-known phrase says that depression is excess of the past, anxiety is excess of the future. Living in the present is being at peace. Where do you live?
The World Health Organization, according to a report made in 2017, Indianthat « at least 322 million people in the world sufferdepression, 18% more than a decade ago, and another 264 million suffer from anxiety disorders, an increase of 15% compared to ten years ago «.
In this article we want to reflect with you on these great problems, since science has confirmed that children inherit anxiety and depression from their parents.
A story to understand anxiety
Pablo was sleeping soundly at home, when he heard someone ring the bell in despair. Upon opening, he observed an unknown person who spoke to him in an incomprehensible language. The visitor was gesturing insistently and yelling. Pablo, desperate, tried to attend to him, but he felt more and more uneasy. He covered his ears, but it was impossible to avoid the noise, he closed the door, but the screams did not go away. He even called the police.
Nothing could be done, this unknown man accompanied him everywhere, chasing him with his encrypted message that only robbed the poor man’s peace of mind.
One day, for his peace of mind, Pablo found a person who understood his problem and could help him. « At last I will have peace! «Pablo thought, relieved. Yet he found himself sitting face to face with the scandalous visitor. With patience and the wise guide of his new guide, he was finally able to understand what was happening, and most importantly, why it was happening.
It took several encounters, but over time, seeing and feeling receptive to the man who haunted him, the stranger stopped screaming. Gradually they began a dialogue. The message was surprising: the man wanted to help Pablo find a precious treasure that he had long lost.
The moment came when the stranger and Pablo no longer needed an interpreter, and together they searched for that treasure. What was the reason for the stranger’s insistence and fuss? He wanted Pablo to rediscover his reason for living, because he was trapped in slopes, stress and superficial experiences.
From then on, Pablo tenderly attended to every visit from the unknown man, who would always help him to find himself again. In this way, Pablo was managing to live calmly, and he felt serenely happy.
This tale is a adaptation of which Ignacio Gallego Lerma Rojo wrote in his Web page emotional support.
The challenge: find the balance
I really like this story. It reflects very clearly the reality of many men today who suffer from anxiety. Emotional illnesses are very common.
Depression or major depressive disorder, is according to Mayo Clinic :« An emotional disorder that causes a constant feeling of sadness and a loss of interest in doing different activities. It affects a person’s feelings, thoughts, and behavior and can cause a variety of physical and emotional problems .
Big problems: anxiety and depression. Well they say that one is excess of the past and another excess of the future. The question would be how to find a balance, right? Why do people put the present aside and anchor ourselves in what we have lived or do we worry about the future?
The present has magic too!
Many believe that past times were always better, others more affirm that what we live today cannot be overcome in the future. Both visions are a waste of time.
The past no longer exists. As wonderful, warm and tempting as we may find parking in it, “it distracts us from now “, as Edna Moda, the sympathetic dressmaker of the superheroes in the Pixar film “The Incredibles”, puts it.
The future has not yet come, and may not come. It’s true! Who guarantees that you will get up tomorrow?
The present, however, is all we have. How sad to stay anchored in yesterday! How sad to imagine the mirage of tomorrow! How wise if we decided to take advantage of today! The “today” has more magic than the other moments, because it is in it that we build memories, and we lay the foundations of the future.
Is that … the present gives vertigo
You are right about that. And according to many authors, that is why we avoid being aware of its magic.
Vertigo is scary. It makes our stomach hurt, our feet hit the floor. It makes our hands sweat, and we feel a tremendous cold running down our back. Good! That means it wakes us up. It is like the unknown visitor who was introduced to Pablo in the story we read above. The present shows us the paths that we have not yet walked, it opens up the great opportunities we have to make our life a great adventure.
Our children will continue our way of escape
Recently, the University of Wisconsin-Madison, in the United States, carried out A studythat proves that anxious and depressed parents genetically transmit this temperament to their children. You realize? Not only is your life being squeezed by these emotional ailments that prevent you from living fully, but your children will be exposed to these modern diseases.
Ned Kalin, the head of the study, tells us that ” our genes shape our brain to help us become who we are . ” In this way, the anxious temperament of parents predisposes their children to suffer from anxiety disorders and depressive disorders in the future.
The good side is that also a full experience of the parents’ life will generate in the children a predisposition to bravely assume the difficulties that arise.
Your bravery will pass from generation to generation
Your emotional stability, your self-control, your balanced life, will impact not only on your quality of life, but on that of your children, and probably your grandchildren.
The Italian poet Ada Negry, who died in 1945, has a beautiful phrase: ” At every moment, the weight of the eternal weighs down .” I love it! In it she tells us that this present that appears to us effervescent and diffuse, will allow us, if we embrace each moment, to accumulate great treasures, eternal treasures.
As you know, taxing means imposing a tribute. Each courageous act of conscious construction of the full present will cement a happy life. Let’s go for it!