If you are one of those people who do not measure the consequences of your actions or words, this article is for you.
Taking a phrase from a Mexican television character, played by the comedian Roberto Gómez Bolaños known as «El Chavo del 8», I will begin by expressing the sense of what often happens to us when we say something and we do not measure the consequences that it may generate. that we enunciate in our interlocutors: «It was without wanting to want».
That’s right, even though it sounds like fun and makes a few smiles, many of the things we say or do can lead to unexpected problems. This “unintentionally” way of proceeding is one of the biggest creators of family problems in our society and we have all been harmed by it. Perhaps worst of all, we are not aware of the harm we do to our loved ones and, of course, we declare ourselves innocent of our actions or words, simply because we do not pay attention to what we do and say.
Ironically, correcting these attitudes and controlling what we express recklessly or “unintentionally” is not as complicated as it seems, it is just a matter of putting the will on our part to change what we already know hurts our family members, and continue insisting until we eradicate it from our behavior.
To hurt no more
There is a simple technique that has been very effective for me to correct these types of hurtful attitudes or expressions, and it has allowed me to greatly improve my relationships with family and friends and it is this: Always think carefully about what you are going to say, the repercussions that may come to have, the tone and the way in which you are going to enunciate the message you want to express to your loved ones. And all this will be the natural result of paying attention to our actions and being aware of the way we behave.
The saying goes: ” More flies are attracted with honey than with gall “; and I’m going to put an example to explain it:
If you assigned some chores around the house to your son and when you returned from shopping, you notice that he did not do even half of what you asked, you:
- You start screaming out of control or measure a series of reprimands that you know will not make a difference in the long run. As a result, they will provoke rebellious behavior in him, which will only worsen the situation and deteriorate the relationship between you.
- You kindly appeal to him and invite him to help you do what he was commissioned to do, reminding him of his responsibilities and warning him about the consequences of his behavior if the situation recurs in the future.
What do you think is the correct way to act? What is your attitude towards a similar situation? Are you tired of arguing or getting hurt? If the answers you give to these questions do not convince or please you, then it is time for you to make a change for yourself and your family.
Hurting our loved ones is easy, to avoid it we must wait for the spirits to calm down, nothing that is said in the midst of fury and exaltation leads to a good understanding. Nor should we make decisions under the influence of anger; if we do, sooner or later we will realize that we have not acted correctly and when we are aware it may be too late.
Remember that we always run the risk of being wrong; Fortunately, if we relapse and hurt our loved ones, we can sincerely ask for forgiveness, so as not to repeat the same mistakes of the past and thus have a more loving and effective communication with our loved ones.