A man abused by his partner is a reality, but it doesn’t have to be YOUR reality. Read on for tips to break free from these oppressive chains called abuse.
The abuse of a woman towards a man is not an unusual, hypothetical or light situation. This is a reality for many men, and it can develop trauma or lead to suicide. These circumstances, as in all those in which there is abuse, are lived in silence; and in many cases where it is attempted to break, the reaction is almost never one of understanding and understanding but one of minimization, if not mockery. An abused man experiences the same consequences as an abused woman and therefore it is essential that we understand this fundamental truth and support those who have not yet been able to free themselves from these chains.
So, reader, if you are the subject of abuse, the following is for you. It is necessary that you know that the messages you have internalized are harmful and false ( for more information see the first part of this article ) and it is imperative that you make the decision today not to believe in them anymore and regain your dignity as a valuable man who you are. Here are some tips to help you on this journey:
Your worth as a person is not determined by anyone
Your partner has made you believe that she is the one who determines your worth, and that it is null, by supporting not only her blows but also her words; this is FALSE, I repeat false. You have infinite value for the simple fact that you are a person, a man with his talents and abilities; No one has the potential to take away this value from you unless you allow it, and if she has, it is not because she can, but because you believed her.
Who loves you NEVER abuses you
Every abusive relationship has a cycle, and although it is true that there are days when she tells you that she loves you and her behavior shows it, the day ALWAYS comes when said love is forgotten and you find her attacking you once again. A pure love NEVER abuses, do not hold on to those few days where you are convinced that she is telling you the truth. Remember that you deserve to be loved and not mistreated.
You have more options than you think
She has convinced you that you have only one option: to stay with her and endure the abuse; yet another lie on her list. You have the strength to seek a new life, where you are respected and you learn to live without fear. Your other option —and I say it not without noticing that less than 5% are successful— is to decide to stay but to set your limits : no more violence and seek professional help. I suggest that you stay and continue to endure such abuse no longer consider it an option, this does not have to be your reality.
You don’t have to be a slave to cultural notions
Many times we come to think that we have two options: bear it or hit it back. And how to hit him back is impossible to contemplate — because you think, rightly, that violence only brings more violence — you decide to hold on. However, there is a third option that does not involve holding or hitting him: stop the blow; you can easily stop any blow that she tries to give you, due to your muscle mass, this is essential because it sends a very clear message, I WILL NOT TOLERATE YOUR ABUSE. This requires that you first believe in your worth and refuse to endure another day where your life is prey to its violence.
It is time to regain your voice, your worth, and your courage. No woman has the right to make you feel that way, or cause so many emotional and physical wounds. You need to decide today that you are going to start taking important steps to free yourself from such a situation. I understand that you are afraid and doubt your ability to do so: but I ASSURE you that you are capable of freeing yourself. Decide today and live happily tomorrow.
The following articles are related to the case where the man is the aggressor:
Domestic violence: Description of the cycle.
Domestic violence: What to do when the couple does not want to change. How to start healing the relationship after domestic violence
Battered Woman Syndrome: Destructive Messages from Domestic Violence (Part 1) Battered Woman Syndrome: Destructive Messages from Domestic Violence (Part 2)