If you find it difficult to make friends or little by little you have been left alone, this article can help you find the reasons, change what is necessary and be happy.
Surely, at some point in your life you have said or heard the following phrase: “I am not a golden coin to be liked by everyone”; which is undoubtedly true, since pleasing everyone is impossible, and there is nothing wrong with it. However, if you notice that you are rejected again and again by the people with whom you pretend to be friends, or that those who you considered your friends are moving away from you, and now you only have a handful of them left, perhaps it is time to to think about what could be happening. I put it to you in the following way: either you are surrounding yourself with people who are not honest, or something is happening with you and your way of relating to others.
Let me share with you some reflections that may help you understand what is happening in your social relationships.
How to know if you are surrounded by “bad people” or really “like you”
Everyone at some time in life has met a bad friend, one of those people who are only by your side because they can get something from you, that is, take advantage of friendship. In these cases, as long as you can give the other what they want or need, rest assured that they will be with you. However, the situation changes radically when it is you who needs something, since in those moments he will not exist for you, he will deny you the favor or reproach you for asking him for help. If this happens, it will be an indication that you are not surrounded by good people or loyal friends.
Now, if what you need to know is if you are the one with the problem, reflect on the following aspects and determine if you behave like this in life
Lee: The messages we give our children educate them and shape their personality.
1. You behave like a “wise man”
There is nothing more irritating than talking to someone who thinks they know them all. The worst thing is that when those who speak with these people realize that they are not correct and try to correct them, their reaction is one of anger and foolishness, staying in their position even though they know that others are right.
This lack of humility is what makes others not want to be with someone like that. It is wonderful that you know many things and share them with love and disinterest, but – without a doubt – it is wise to accept when you are not right. You are not an encyclopedia.
2. You expose your resentments and negative thoughts
Does it happen to you that sometimes during a talk without relevance you let out your grudges and frustrations, placing your companion as the depository of your discomforts? Besides being a very selfish attitude, it will no doubt make even the most patient of all friends run. People who are nice to others do not criticize or recriminate, and are distinguished by not letting their darkest thoughts, emotions and feelings come to light.
That is why, if you want to be nice to others, do not make your friends or your partner a pillow of complaints, much less when they are not relevant to what they are talking about.
readThe sin of self-pity
3. You don’t know how to listen
It is a horror to speak with a person who, although his body is present, his thoughts and attention are elsewhere, has it happened to you?
Listening is not only the act of receiving messages through the ears, but it implies being able to attend and show genuine interest in others and in what they tell you. You’re not supposed to put up with even the most unlikely stories, but if you want to walk away, you can do so politely and without making others feel bad.
4. You are not generous
It’s not about giving everything you have to “have a million friends,” but about showing real interest in others, giving a little more than is required. Be careful not to overdo it with generosity, as you can get to the point of losing yourself, you should know how to say “no” when necessary. Likewise, asking wisely can make you more likable by making others feel useful but not used.
It is important that you understand that having many or few friends, as well as being or not in a relationship, are situations that do not make you a better or a worse person. It is only a matter of observing who you relate to, that you analyze who you are and change what is necessary for your well-being and happiness. Sometimes people move away from you because they have already fulfilled their mission in your life and other times they reject you without giving themselves the opportunity to meet you. Don’t worry, even if you only have one friend, that is better than a thousand bad friends.
In addition to this article, you can complement your reading with The sweet trace of friendship throughout your life