Limits and privacy are won with communication and trust. Know how to achieve it
There are many dangers which adolescents are exposed to, to mention a few: drugs, alcoholism, smoking, prostitution, rape, harassment, bullying, kidnapping, identity theft among others. Without a doubt, no parent wants their child to be going through any of these situations.
So most parents of teenage children want to know everything their child does: What does he do all the time on the computer? Who does he text? Who is she talking to? Who are her friends? Where is she going? Without thinking about it, some parents are capable of infringing the privacy and intimacy of their children, by checking their emails, social networks, cell phones, notebooks, tablets, books or even listening to calls without consent.
The limits: it’s trust
Sofía Ballestero, psychologist and sociologist, explains that parents must work on trust since their children are young, so that when they are adolescents, they can express their feelings, emotions and share all their concerns. To achieve trust, respect for privacy and intimacy is essential, it is about leaving them their space without trying to invade or question them.
Ballestero suggests that parents approach their children and jointly review the content of their computer and other devices, talk about the various situations they contain. When the adolescent refuses outright is when, something hides and that is when parents must know what they are seeing or doing, who their friends are, where they are, who they are with. It is a call of alert and caution, the help of a specialist is recommended.
How to make teenage children trust?
1. Respect your privacy and privacy
I mean social networks or any electronic device that they commonly have. When parents check their computers without their child’s consent, they are breaking the trust that their child once had. Therefore, it is essential to always do it with your consent and avoid spying or snooping on your private things. In case of perceiving unusual behavior, dialogue and communication are recommended, without the need to spy on them.
Parents should be alert to everything that is in their children’s room, it is their personality and the reflection of everything they are going through or thinking. It is important to discipline them in terms of hygiene, since many adolescents have a disorder in their bedrooms, however, all things should be left as they are and in a moment share experiences on the issues they address and reflect on their room.
I invite you to read: What does your child’s adolescence hide?
3. Respect what they say
Children often feel confident to talk about their things and concerns, so it is essential to respect what they say and not share it with other people, including the partner. Otherwise they will not express their doubts again or they will isolate themselves completely.
4. Dialogue and not punishments
Trust is gained little by little, so it is important to encourage communication with children, ask them about their things and interests, wishes, dreams, problems, tastes, etc. By doing so they will consent to your entering their private life and thus avoid spying on them like a detective.
Punishments must be replaced by prizes when they achieve or reach some objective, they must be recognized. When it comes to punishing them, it is recommended that they work for what they want, so they will know the value of money and effort.
I share with you: Adolescence without internet. Punishment or benefit?
We all go through adolescence, hormonal changes, first love, parties and meetings with friends and experiencing new things. Trust your children and remember that communication with them should be every day, to strengthen trust.