The article deals with the situation of the attitude that children have towards their parents when they are separated or they are single and that many times they do not realize it. The demands and blackmails they apply to their parents, and how they p
“Why didn’t you have more children mom?”, “I’m alone all the time”, “I get bored a lot”, “You are selfish mom, you only thought of yourself”, “You can’t say no because you only have me,Why isn’t my dad with us?,Mom I need …,Mom I deserve …,Mom I want … “. These are the phrases that children of separated or single parents often resort to to dominate their parents and get what they want, since the latter feel in some way guilty or responsible for their children’s situation and a way of remedying his mistake is by indulging in all his whims.
“More and more parents are absent, either because both have to work all day to be able to pay for the expenses or because they are separated. By not being present, they feel they must spoil their children; they do not set limits and that is the surest way to create a tyrant child. Children require coordinates and frames of reference “, affirms the anthropologist and psychotherapist Margarita Blanco.
The same happens with parents whose decision was to have only one child, because of the idea that they should be given “everything.” But what does TODO mean? Grant all the permissions and whims? And what happens with the quality time that can and should be given to them? Their participation in housework? The values? Be careful, “everything” can be a very misleading word that far from allowing us to be the best parents, it can turn into the opposite.
For this reason, I share some tips that can help you with the gift of being a mother:
Do not allow blackmail of any kind. If you allow it once, you will give your child a very powerful weapon so that he will always get what he wants from you, whether it benefits him or not.
Even if you feel guilty that you hardly see him or that he gets bored, if you have already made a decision regarding a punishment, be firm until the end; It doesn’t matter if your offspring is very insistent, this can be a ruse to get you tired and agree. It is always better to stop at the beginning. I assure you that once you do, your child will think twice to get a penalty.
3. Lack of respect
This is very common in these cases, so do not allow him to raise his voice to you, if you do it once, he will always do it and it will be a sign that you do not represent any authority.
4. Don’t question you
A conversation is always recommended when your child has that concern. Think that if you made an assertive or wrong decision, there is no going back.
The weak point of any mother is undoubtedly her children, but for this reason you should not seek to look good with them for fear of recrimination, their abandonment, their indifference or criticism. What you want to give your children will never be enough, but do not lose sight of those things that only with your teaching will you be able to acquire. Prepare it, giving it the best of you!
Related to this topic, we invite you to
readFragile self-esteem and tyrant children.
And related to raising children,
readHealthy ego, healthy self-esteem.