“He who is without sin, cast the first stone,” John 8: 7.
Discovering an infidelity and feeling that the world is upon us is the same thing. A cluster of mixed feelings suddenly comes to us, and we go from the desire to end everything, even if it means living the rest of our life without the person we love: the dissolution of our home, the reaction of our children, the pride wounded by feel that we were not enough.
Love poisons itself and it poisons us, and we would like not to love so that we can get rid of that person like someone removing a stone from a shoe. However, what we actually feel is as if we are throwing away our own heart, which is why it is not always so easy to give up everything without giving one last battle.
As if this were not enough, we must add to the pain the social judgment, the criticism, the pointing out, because there is no shortage of those who hold us responsible for the deception, or many others who see in us the example of someone who is not respected and who lacks of an iota of self-love for the mere fact of deciding to bet on a new opportunity in the relationship.
“He who is without sin among you is the first to cast a stone at her”, is written in Saint John 8: 7. However, we all become judges when it comes to giving an opinion on what does not concern us, but above all what does not hurt us, nor does it affect us directly.
Sometimes forgiveness comes from love, interest, family, principles, fear, guilt … It can be all together or separately, but arriving at this involves weighing what we have and what we are going to resign, and what we decide to do with our lives is a right that only everyone can have.
Relee: How to forgive an infidelity in marriage
Why not judge someone who forgives an infidelity
1. Families deserve it
You may think that pride is worth more, but if a mother thinks that the emotional stability of her children is more important, do you really have the right to criticize her?
2. Not ready
It is not always that we like the bad life, but doing things when we are not prepared to give them up is just as bad as staying when we do not want to. The “would”, although it does not exist, haunts, so let the person concerned decide what to do with his life.
3. There is love
Have you ever been in love? Do you remember what it’s like to even imagine life without your love? Check the phone, email a thousand times, ask everyone about that person, and call them all the time even at the risk of looking harassing?
4. Faith or principles
Both terms speak of the way of thinking and of facing the life of each person, and to interfere in that is to attempt against the right that each person has to decide about their life. Would you like someone to tell you what to do?
Learning to put ourselves in the place of others is a vital requirement when we want to prosecute someone for their decisions. Life is not made up of absolutes, and guilty and innocent are very broad terms when it comes to human behavior.
The right of everyone to decide about his life is inalienable, or should. To the pain of deception, do not add the sadness of knowing that one is alone and condemned, better stay close, offer your shoulder and respect the feelings of those who suffer.
Finally, I invite you to reread: How to forgive a love betrayal