Can parents suffer from depression after the birth of their child?
The birth of a child is supposed to radiate happiness to the whole family, especially the parents. But unfortunately this is not always the case. That intense love that a father feels for his child as soon as he is born is not always instantaneous. At least this is what a father admits on his blog, who claims to have suffered from postnatal depression.
“I didn’t feel anything for my daughter”
According to Mail Online, Ross is a father who has been battling depression in recent years. But he never thought that it would affect him after the birth of his daughter Isabelle. This Welsh father tells on his blog that when his daughter was born “he felt absolutely nothing” and that, specifically, he came to “hate” her and feel jealous of her.
“If someone offered to take her, I would have accepted it” says this father according to Mail Online, who tells his story so that other parents are alert about postpartum depression in men, since that was the diagnosis he had after several weeks.
“I did everything I could. I changed her, bathed her, played with her, even let her sleep on me, but still I didn’t feel anything, “says Ross. His daughter Isabelle was supposed to fill him with love and happiness instantly, but he found himself shocked that he couldn’t feel anything for her, and even felt guilty, for it was something he couldn’t handle.
Love without expecting anything
«It is incredibly difficult to love someone who takes so much from you without thinking that they don’t give you anything in return. The only problem is, you shouldn’t think that way. You’re supposed to love them no matter what, ”Ross said. However, this father did not. He had no love for that daughter he had had with his wife, Rachel.
So, he began to investigate and try to understand his feelings. Finally, when he returned to work, spending more hours away from home made him realize what was happening and thus, as he took it in, the feelings began to blossom.
One summer, they went on vacation to unwind and try to focus on their relationship with their daughter. Then one afternoon when her baby smiled back, there Ross knew something was changing. He felt how little by little the feeling began to grow inside him.
Today, Ross tells her story on her blog and in a YouTube video to raise awareness about a problem that many people are unaware of and that is commonly attributed to women: postpartum depression. This father, who spent several months feeling apathetic towards his daughter, was able to deal with her problem by facing it and talking about it, while recognizing it as a problem. The help of his wife has been invaluable, who as a mother knew how to fully understand the feeling of frustration that her husband was going through. Today, Ross alerts other parents so they can overcome postnatal depression and not feel bad about having it. After all, love always wins.
Post unemployment depression in men?
We know the term postpartum depression attributed to women. But, although the term is not often heard related to parents, the truth is that it is more common than you think: parents can also become depressed after the arrival of their baby.
The birth of a child changes the family scenario. It is usual for the family to focus on the mother and the newborn baby. The truth is that parents also undergo great emotional changes, especially if it is their first child. That is why postnatal depression in men often goes unnoticed, or is given little importance.
According to the site Babies and More, and according to research conducted at the Hebrew University of Jerusalem, almost 17% of men may suffer from postnatal depression. In women, hormones play a fundamental role in postpartum depression, while in men social, economic and emotional factors are influential. Fears play against the new father, who faces a new role with the fear of not knowing if he will be ready for it.
Postnatal Depression Symptoms in Men
estrangement from the couple
refuge in friends or alcohol
trouble bonding with the baby
If these symptoms last more than two weeks, it is essential to consult with specialists, since detecting it early can prevent depression from taking a greater level.
Help dad feel included
Many men feel left out when their son arrives. It is true that as mothers we are emotionally and physically “trapped” in the love affair with our baby. It happened to me, and I forgot about the world. I remember that in the first weeks of the birth of our second child, my husband was weird and somewhat hostile. I also remember that I tried to put him in his arms as much as possible so that he would generate that father-son bond, from the beginning.
readHer son was dying, but she chose to do this, while her husband told her that he wished he had “never met her”
Dads also need to feel that they are important and helpful. Make your partner feel important, tell him how much you need him and how lucky your baby is to have him as a father. Even the most “rude” man needs the most tender words of love from his wife. Let the father be the one who puts one of the baby’s naps to sleep, or changes him or gives him his bottle. This way, the relationship will take hold day by day, and there will be less chance that you will fall into a postnatal depression.
And you, have you ever heard of postnatal depression in men?