It is better to correct children with love on time than to suffer the consequences of lack of discipline.
I live in a well-known neighborhood in the city where I am from, because it is one of the first to be opened. Because of this, it is very common to see people of all ages, conditions and even nationalities. However, one in particular touches me a lot.
It is about a woman in her 60s, who lives with her dog. Although she owns a home in this neighborhood, it is common to see her wandering the streets of the place. I always wondered why she did it, but I never imagined that the reasons that led her to do it had to do with her son.
About two months ago I found out that she practically lives on the streets and of people’s charity, because her only son waits for her to collect her pension to take it away. You will say then that why she does not defend herself; the reality is that she suffers from some kind of mental illness that prevents her from being aware of her situation.
She is not the only one
The sad thing about it is that this story repeats itself over and over again in many parts of the world.
There are parents who are not only brazenly robbed by their sons. There are also those who are beaten and mistreated in a cruel way by them; There are even others who, instead of stealing or mistreated them, forget about them and abandon them.
I suppose there is a reason why children end up treating their parents that way; however, there is always an option to pay good with bad for any egregious mistakes or mistakes a parent has made against their children. But what about children who are treated well and still mistreat their parents? From my point of view, there is no justification.
Why do children mistreat their parents?
The reasons can be many. One of them can be understood from bad parenting; for example: a father who pleases his children and then refuses to give them everything they want may be abused.
Also due to the lack of setting limits during parenting, poor supervision or even the loss of authority as a father or mother. the abuse parental-childIt can also be the result of revenge due to the resentment caused by the mistreatment that parents gave their children during childhood.
Attitudes of violence against parents can appear during childhood, adolescence, youth or adulthood. Furthermore, they may or may not cause obvious harm, and what may be worse is that some parents are not even aware of what they are experiencing with their children; the emotional damage is evident over time, but the worst part is that the harmful behavior can escalate and reach a point where the harm of children towards their parents can become more violent.
Stages of child-parent abuse
Although the violenceand the abuse of children towards their parents can occur in adulthood, that does not rule out the obvious fact that many children between the ages of 5 and 17 are prone to such behaviors. The stages are 3:
1 Voltage build-up
It occurs when there is a confrontation with parents and children. What this does is that it leads children to accumulate feelings of anger that many repress. Without there being a stimulus to make that tension go away, and not knowing how to handle it, the consequences are imminent.
It is the violent situation as such: rude words, physical attacks, harmful behaviors. There is a wide range that parents can fall victim to.
It comes as a consequence of the violent situation. However, that regret is not genuine. The worst thing is that it is only the beginning of another stage of accumulation of emotions and tension that is going to trigger another episode of violence. It is basically a vicious cycle.
Nipping harmful behaviors in the bud
The harmful behavior of children to parents is better to settle the conflict since childhood. The reason is that if it is not done in time, it will hardly be resolved when authority over the children is lost.
Experts recommend that the best way to prevent these harmful behaviors from occurring within the family is preventing. That is to say, children must understand from a young age that parents are “the head of the family.” This is not achieved by making children afraid of their parents, but by having them respect them.
That is why there is a lot of insistence that families should eliminate any type of violence against children. If they have to be punished, they are punished, but assertively, without hitting or yelling. Respect is earned with respect, not with bad manners.
The key is knowing how to face the problems
What is intended is that both parents and children learn to face conflicts and solve them intelligently, and not by using violence.
When a family speaks honestly about what is bothering them, the easier it is to understand the problem; therefore, faster is the solution of it.
Now, giving affection is essential in homes. It seems trite and obvious to say it, but even repeating it, many parents forget that for their children a good afternoon of walk sharing an ice cream is worth more than a thousand expensive toys at Christmas and birthdays.
Is always much better prevent than cure. It is better to find the solution to that harmful behavior of children in childhood, where everything is simpler to solve, than to let everything pass and remain without a solution. In the long run, the damage will be terrible for the parents, and there is nothing sadder than an old age in loneliness, poverty and abuse caused by children.