They can also be the cause of the failure of your marriage. Discover who, how and why?
Much cloth has been cut regarding the factors that damage a marriage; However, there are aspects that a couple could never imagine that could be the triggers for the destruction of their marital relationship.
Those unimaginable aspects have to do with the way you relate to your children, but before closing with a resounding no, I invite you to continue reading.
How can your children destroy your marriage?
It may be hard to believe, however, there are several situations that children can provoke indirectly and that negatively affect their parents’ relationship. Here are some of those situations.
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1. When the child arrives without being expected (or desired) by one of the parents
Although children are the greatest sign of love that can be in a marriage, I cannot deny that there are situations in which their arrival does not turn out to be the best news that can be received.
It is in this particular case that the child – who is supposed to have been conceived with love – begins to be a point of discussion between his parents, without it being directly his fault – of course.
2. When the child is the “apple of discord” for the purposes of his upbringing
In this case, the arrival of the child is news that has been welcomed and longed for for a long time; the problem begins when the upbringing, care and education of the boy is under the responsibility of a single parent. This can take 2 ways.
It arises when the father in charge of the upbringing and care quarrels with his partner for the apparent carelessness and little participation in the upbringing of his child.
A problem appears when one parent disavows the other in front of the child. It usually happens when the unauthorized father wishes to apply a corrective to the boy because of some fault committed and the other feels that he does not “have the right” to correct him, because – to himself – he does not spend as much time with the son as she or he and therefore loses that right.
3. When the spouse competes with the child for the affection of their partner
It is when as a result of the arrival of the children, one of the parents accuses the other of giving more love and attention to the little one than to him.
4. When the marital relationship is full of responsibilities
Here the problem arises because the couple no longer has time to go out and live their life of freedom as before the arrival of the children, because each planned outing refers to the search for a nanny and if they do not find one, they must stay at home.
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5. For lack of limits and parental authority
It seems a bit strange but it happens more times than desired. Here children challenge their parents, causing both to fight, this happens when the family does not have the proper stability to guide them.
6. Due to a decrease in conjugal intimacy
Due to the loss of privacy and even more so when children reach adolescence, life as a couple becomes less private and therefore problems arise.
Ways to solve these problems and thus prevent them from becoming insurmountable
The main thing is that the couple agrees with the planning and arrival of the children. In this way it is avoided that they are causing (unintentionally) a problem due to their arrival.
Put your marriage before your children. Marriage precedes children and must remain after they go off to live their own lives.
In education they must agree with the rules of home and family life. The purpose of them is that between the parts of the family the communication is effective since they are small.
The rules should go from the ones that indicate the way to divide the household chores, the time to get up and go to bed, to get home when they are teenagers and even how much they can spend and the way to earn that money.
Show no weakness. Seek that your children have the best life possible but with principles and rules that make them a good human being.
Give your marriage time because thanks to the affection that you manifested from the beginning, your children came into the world. Make time for little romantic trips whenever you can. This will help you to revive your life as a couple and improve it.