The success of your children depends on your efforts as a mother.
When you are a child or adolescent, it is sometimes inevitable to think that our mother makes life impossible for us. The point is that already in adulthood and when we are able to face life with all its nuances, we give thanks for all the “problems” that Mom caused us in the past.
Me mother in particular he was terribly demanding. I remember that from a very young age she began to teach me the correct way to keep a house in order and to prepare some food. Regarding homework, I was always aware that I did them well and neatly, that my uniforms were always clean and my school shoes were properly shiny.
I really felt that I was exaggerating and that I was seriously “ruining my life.” Of the two daughters, I was the eldest, and I felt that she was putting a lot of pressure on me. Because of that it was inevitable to feel a lot of anger towards her, but I did not face her, she deserved all the respect from me.
The point is that thanks to all that level of pressure and demand that he put on me, I was able to pursue a professional career, I faced in my past things that not any woman could face, and I secretly thanked for everything he taught me when I was a girl and a teenager. Thanks to that, simply, in the hardest moments I have had to live, I got ahead.
The science behind it
I don’t think there is an adult woman today who doesn’t identify with part of my story. And it is that the mothers of yesteryear (and some of now), played a strict role in the lives of their daughters.
If you are one of those mothers who demands a lot of effort from your daughter to be exemplary, to develop her skills and strive for her dreams and in her studies; You might feel at times that you make your teenage daughter unhappy, but trust me, you won’t regret it in the future.
A investigation carried out by Ericka G. Rascon-Ramirez, a professor at the University of Essex, concluded that behind a woman who has achieved success, there is a very demanding mother.
The study consisted of analyzing the lives of 15,000 adolescents between the ages of 13 and 14 over 6 years. The researchers observed that those girls who had a mother who was always aware of what they did with regard to schoolwork, responsibilities at home, were much more likely not to get pregnant at an early age, go to college and have a longer adult life productive.
The reason for the success, according to the researcher, is that mothers, through their insistence, make their daughters internalize their demands, translating them into consistent expectations.
Your teenage daughter’s reaction says a lot about your behavior
Adolescents often react to the demands of their mothers. The common thing is that they roll their eyes up or frown. For you it is inevitable not to translate these gestures as rebellion or discomfort; However, even if they are very impertinent and drive you out of your boxes, that boredom behavior means that they have clearly heard what you have said.
The best thing is that it has been “recorded” in their minds, to take action at the right time. In other words, all your teachings have already been processed.
Limits, with love
It is one thing for you to set clear rules from childhood for your daughter to follow, and another is the abuse that seeks to meet your demands.
Loving your children is setting healthy limits. When you impose them with love and respect, your children will understand them. It’s about setting rules like the following:
-Take up the room before going to school
-When you get home from school and after lunch you should wash the dishes you used
– Do you want time to watch television or be in front of the computer or see you with your friends? Show me you’ve finished your homework
-Put your clothes in the washing machine, take them out to dry and then hang and / or fold them
-Accompany me to make the purchase (for example)
No, it is not that you ridicule her in front of her classmates or friends, or that you lock her up so she does not see anyone, or yell at her to make her “understand.” That’s not the right way, because you’re throwing her squarely into the arms of failure.
Explain with kindness, set limits with affection. Being strict is not being a bad mother. Your daughter will understand this in the not too distant future.
Does it also apply to boys?
Indeed, and it works the same way. Although the study was conducted only on girls, there is no reason why children should not benefit from a demanding mother.
The important point is to know how to enter the minds of your children in the right way, implanting in their subconscious minds your loving but demanding voice that reminds them that they are capable of giving much of them for their own benefit, that they deserve much more than what. They believe and that you, even though you are no longer so close in their adult life, are happy and proud of them for all their successes.
I definitely thank my mother for every claim, every rule set, every job she taught me and made me independent. I thank you for putting your loving, advisory voice in my head that required much more from me, because it is thanks to that that today I believe in myself and my capabilities, and I have been able to achieve my dreams and goals in my own way. It is thanks to your demand that today I am a happy woman.