Although it is hard to believe if you get on badly with your mother-in-law, your marital life can turn into a nightmare. With this method you can become friends with your mother-in-law and not die trying.
You may not like the idea very much because it did not go well for you from the beginning, but whether or not you like it, getting along with your mother-in-law is almost an obligation and really, I know it first hand, not all of them are A spoonful of arequipe (dulce de leche) that you pass with pleasure and makes your day, no! Many are the closest thing to a nightmare and it seems that they put all their effort to damage your temper.
Of course, sometimes as daughters-in-law, it is not that much effort is made to be up to the situation, but it is to fulfill the expectations of a mother who wants her son to marry the woman 10, as it is complicated. The point is that if you get on badly with her, your marital relationship is going to be problematic too and believe me, she is going to have a lot to do with that.
For this reason, so that your emotional relationship is not affected by your bad relationship with your mother-in-law, it is NECESSARY that you get along with her, and here she will give you some ideas to achieve it.
1. Try to find out what is the reason why he does not treat you well
This is going to be easy and the best thing is that you face it head-on and don’t give it time for that discomfort that it feels towards you to advance and “take root.” Take advantage of a moment when you are alone with her and ask her as is her feelings for you. If they are jealous because you are married to his son, then tell him that you do not intend to take him away from her, if not that your intention is for her to gain one more relative (that you would come to be, whether she likes it or not)
For the rest, if it is only the desire to fight and find buts, I recommend that you never equal argue with her, instead let her argue alone, because “you need two to fight.” If you don’t play along and know how to endure his opposition with humility and patience, one of two things will happen in the long run: either he will get tired or your husband will realize that your initial complaints about his opposition his mother weren’t just that, and he’s going to have to talk to her about it.
2. Be nice to her
In doing so you must be genuine. It’s going to be difficult at first, I know, but after a while she’s going to realize that you weren’t the person she believed in and it’s going to change (if she’s sensible). Later, being gentle with her will come naturally to you.
3. Make use of good humor
Laughter has always been a kind of anesthetic for the pains of the soul and can help a lot to change the mood of your mother-in-law. It is not that you become a clown to make her laugh, but that when faced with something ruthless that she says, instead of responding in the same tone, you achieve a funny and witty response that cuts off the tension of the situation.
4. Praise her and thank her for what she does for you
She loves her son, that’s a fact, so she will try to be aware of offering to make a dish of her liking, perhaps she will also want to spend time with her grandchildren. It is likely that he will offer you his opinion on something, if he does it in a good way there is no reason to feel offended and defensive.
Praise their good attitude and behavior, appreciate what they do for you because in life nothing is free and what is given is already profit and keep in mind that they will try to be helpful. On the other hand, ignore or ignore behaviors that are not pleasant to you and they will gradually disappear.
5. Give yourself the opportunity to meet her
Like you, your mother-in-law has had to go through difficult situations in her life and perhaps, at some point when you see her sad, tired or ill, show yourself interested in her and whatever is happening to her. Remember that you can always learn something from the people around you and she is no exception.
6. Give him gifts
It is a way of showing respect and appreciation; to let her know that for you, she has a fundamental role in your family life. If you know how to crochet folders, sew clothes, or even a delicious cake, whatever comes from your hands will show you that you care about her, that you appreciate her and that you take the time to consider her in your life. Clear! make sure it’s to your taste and enjoy it.
Also read : Your mother-in-law can be an unconditional friend.
7. Explain misunderstandings as soon as possible
If at any time a discrepancy arises between you, do not delay in clarifying what happened. For no relationship is it good to let the other person distance themselves without having talked about what happened. Of course, do it politely, firmly and clearly in order to put an end to the bad time.
8. Don’t compete with her
It’s absurd, both she and you have their pros and cons, so competing for who makes the best chocolate cake or the brightest comments will only bring inconvenience. Life and affective relationships are not power relationships where it is a question of seeing who overcomes whom in what.
Instead, learn as much as you can from her and don’t forget that there is always room for both of you in the world.
Becoming friends with your mother-in-law is not as difficult as it may seem, just do it with your heart and sooner or later she will realize that you are worthy of her child and you make her happy.