Test your patience, take a deep breath, and apply these tips that will end the worst tantrums in the world.
As if it were an intensive course in patience and creativity, all parents must face the tantrum of one of our children at some time in our lives. For some the test is simple and with a few techniques, they come out winners. For others, the test becomes a professional exam and there are families who even repeat a year with each child.
So if you are a mother and your little one is between one and six years old, here you will find some recommendations proven by many parents who have passed the parenting journey and were successful.
Read and take note, to start applying them today.
Characteristics of this stage of life
Early childhood is called development stage ranging from 1 year to 6, and it is during this time that the language area, the socio-emotional area, the cognitive area and the motor area will develop like never before. You will be able to see how quickly the child acquires greater autonomy, identifies himself as someone and above all, how he begins to socialize and find a place in the family.
At this age he already establishes many social relationships, enjoys the company of other children of the same age, learns to share games, and is able to accept agreements to solve difficulties. This is where tantrums can make their appearance because they feel frustrated, angry, afraid or simply because they want to do something and cannot.
Children are learning to regulate and express their emotions but when they do not know how to react, what they want exactly or what to say, they lose their control over themselves, they stop thinking about the consequences of their actions and they cannot stick to the rules that surely you have already established.
The tantrum What is it?
So, the tantrum it is only the manifestation of something that the child is not yet capable of doing, explaining, deciding or manifesting.
These are some things that the child cannot manifest clearly
A tired child after a day of play or walk is more susceptible to having a tantrum because what he wants in the background is to rest or sleep.
If the little one has not eaten on time, he may be feeling weakness, a headache or simply discomfort and not knowing what is happening to him.
Changes in your routine
Leaving your routine or starting a new one can be a bit stressful, because it involves you putting all your senses to process what happens to you, you do not know the people and the whole scheme that was already beginning to dominate and feel calm in it, changes and must rebuilding new social relationships, and that makes you feel insecure and out of place .
Lack of attention
We parents often make the mistake of believing that by being close to the child he feels cared for and loved. If we do not see him, we play with him, we touch him or he sees us doing something else where he does not participate, for example on the cell phone or with other people, he will throw a tantrum to get our attention
Lack of understanding
Let us remember that his language is under construction and sometimes he does not have the words to tell us exactly what he wants or how he needs it, so every time we do not “guess” what he wants, his frustration or anger is born.
Lack of practice in new skills
For example, if you are learning to put on your shoes or tie your shoelaces, after trying several times you will despair and may throw a tantrum. The child does not think “this is complicated, I need to be patient, rest a little and then try again”, he will simply throw the shoe away and start crying.
What you can do before it appears
As a form of healthy parenting, parents must be frequently checking that our child is fed, comfortable and dry in his clothing, that he receives medical care when he needs it, and has established routines for rest, play and feeding.
After having covered the basic needsIt is also important to check that we are interacting affectively and emotionally with the child. When the tantrum hits, don’t get angry or impatient or embarrassed first, your child needs you to keep learning and you function best as his teacher when you are calm and collected.
During the tantrum, do not do the following
– Punish him
– Ignore it
– Teach him a lesson
– scold him
– yell at him
If you do this, you may be able to change the behavior temporarily, but it will be very difficult for you to help them identify and process their emotions, or develop their autonomy, and you will generate resentment and distrust.
What you can do:
– Keep calm
– Change him to a place where neither he nor you bother people while he calms down and you accompany him. Do this especially when you are in public places
– Help him understand what bothered him and make him recognize what he is feeling.
– Propose a different or alternative activity that you can do
– Never reward him after a tantrum
– Teach him to reconcile, give alternatives and negotiate so that when he has a tantrum he can have a way out of his discomfort
– Give him options and allow him to feel that he has some control over his surroundings
– Practice with him what is making it difficult for him, that will give him security by feeling capable
After the tantrum, what to do
Act normal as if nothing had happened and do not give more importance to this, otherwise you can reaffirm the idea that if it does it will have your attention; better find a new activity that is pleasant or that keeps you calm.
Tantrums should no longer occur after the age of 7 because the child already has a wide vocabulary to express himself, physically he is capable of doing many things by himself, he alone can already know how he feels and do something about it, he also already understands that There are many other ways to make yourself present in your family, which by the way shows you and lets you know that you are loved just as you are.
Becoming a tantrum-proof mom is possible, and with a little patience you will succeed. Don’t be discouraged, you are doing very well!